Thursday, January 20, 2011

After the First Date: Cold Feet, Creeping on Facebook and "Confirm Now" to Delete

Friday morning was a flurry of meetings, errands and attending to my sick son at home.  I was so busy that it didn’t occur to me that I hadn’t heard from Herbie64 until lunchtime.   We had our first date earlier in the week, it went well and we have been talking and flirting every day since.
I texted him a quick hello.  He replied back asking how my day was.   He sent me a text saying he was having a horrible day and wasn’t feeling well.  I sent him well wishes and an offer for him to let me know if he needed anything.   He replied back short and sweet.   
I spent Friday night with friends and didn’t from Herbie64 at all.   On Saturday morning, he texts me that he isn’t feeling up to going out tonight and apologizes.  Reading this text really annoys me, not that he is sick, but that he didn’t call me cancel.  I reply back with something gracious yet laced with obvious irritation.  
An hour later, the phone rings while my son and I are traveling to our local Target.  We went out searching for a popular, new video game that he wanted to buy with his Christmas money.  Herbie64’s voice is shaky and he began with an apology for cancelling.   An explanation followed and he said that the day before there had been some “Baby Mama Drama” and that it was the reason he was feeling so badly.  It also made him realize that he wasn’t completely over her and that a date would be a bad idea. 
My irritation quickly turned to understanding and I appreciated his honestly, offering friendship if he needed it.    This wasn’t the moment to throw in his face that he had grilled me so much about my feelings for Putter and him professing multiple times that he wanted to move forward with me.
Two smoothies and two different Target stores later, my son and I are home.   We both dash to check email and Facebook.  I’m really irritated to see Herbie64's status was recently changed to something that says something like how happy he is and is going out tonight with friends.  I get the part of going out with friends to let off steam.   The happy part seemed a little bit of a slap in my face, especially since about an hour ago on the phone he seemed practically ready to cry.  I’m asking myself if I’m being too sensitive, I really don’t think so.
The thought crossed my mind that he made up this little lie about his ex because something better came up.  Then I thought  I don't really want to keep him as a friend on Facebook... so I moved my cursor over to the blue "X" to delete him.  I walked away for a couple of minutes, then came back, took a deep breath and firmly pressed the “Confirm now” button.
I see Steven Tyler’s face in my head singing “I’m back in the saddle again. I’m back.”    Right, oh... I’m back alright.(sarcasm)  This effin saddle sucks!  Why do I do this, I ask myself.  Why do I keep putting myself back out there?  The song ringing in head mocks me and goes perfectly with the feeling of the big, ol' fist in my gut.   It’s a perfect match like a buttery Cabernet and a juicy steak.  
I spent the evening with my best girlfriend talking, laughing and having a few drinks.   I wish I could say that I DIDN’T drunk text Putter, but I kinda did, whoops.  


The Single Mom

Next time:  Do I hear back from Putter?  Spoiler alert: Yes.

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