Friday, January 21, 2011

Freaky Friday: The Top 8 Freaky Emails I Have Received (Adult Content)


It still amazes me when I look back on my dating diary and some of the experiences that have happened along the way.    When I first started dating again I was so naïve and have learned so much, some the hard way.   Before my marriage, I had romantic, attentive and loving boyfriends.   So my expectations of going back out onto the market in my late 30’s were that I’d have similar experiences.  WRONG!
My first year and a half of dating felt like a really bad Lifetime movie.   I shedded my religion teacher, PTA mom,  white picket fence persona and was thrust into the middle of a nightmare relationship with an extreme bad boy.   Let’s just say, I learned my lesson quickly on the bad boy thing.  My perfect man now is 90% good with 10% bad.  J
I literally started online dating after a few glasses of wine when a girlfriend grabbed my computer and created my profile for me.   My therapist at the time recommended that I date a vast array of men, go on as many dates as possible and meet lots of different types of men.   I took her advice that summer and there were weeks I had 6 dates a week.     Thinking of that now exhausts me, but it taught me a lot about what I want and more importantly what I don’t.  
In the same amount of time, I could have earned a bachelors degree and been on my way to a masters, lol.  I do feel like I know a lot about dating, many of my friends come to me now for “coaching” and advice.  Funny thing is, when I’m into someone, I lose all of my "game".  I know what I SHOULD do, but that doesn’t always happen.  It's so easy for me to give someone else advice, but when my feelings are involved, my brain flies out the window.
With that being said, I do know a lot about dating, but relationships are murky waters to me.  Taking advice about relationships from me is like taking marital advice from Tiger Woods.   However,  I do want a long term relationship, so I’m hoping I can figure it out, and soon.
So, since this is my “Freaky Friday” blog, I thought I’d share the 8 Freakiest (& Funniest)people who have emailed me. 

  • A man whose screenname started with “Diapers” (ironically his headline said something like, "Why is love so hard to find?"
  • A man who recently emailed me who looked like he could be my grandpa wanting to be my "friend with benefits".  (There aren't enough rufies on the planet to make that happen!)
  • A woman... I guess she thought she could get me to switch teams (???)
  • A man who I went on a first date with a few years ago who practically mauled me.  I literally had to push off of me and throw him out of my car because he was all over me.  (Did he think I forgot?)
  • A woman who was looking for another woman for a threesome with her husband.
  • A man who confessed it had been 8 years since he had sex.  (He was a great looking guy, just was really damaged from his divorce, really damaged.)
  • Being matched on eHarmony with my exbrother inlaw.  (ewwwwww!)
  • A man emailed me recently who told me he was romantic and wanted a long term relationship but his screen name referenced ... well let's just say... a body part he was really proud of. (wink, wink)

I hope you have a great weekend!
Smooches,

The Single Mom
Next time... picking back up - After the First Date...

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