Thursday, January 13, 2011

Getting back with an ex?

For the two weeks before and after Christmas, I had 6 ex boyfriends contact me trying to get back together.  It became really comical and truly kind of annoying.   It does happen to me a lot and I rarely consider reuniting when it does.  Perception of person changes after missing someone, so I try to be real with myself when it does happen.

It was good reconnecting with "Scooter58", it had been awhile, and somehow conversation trailed off.  I thought I had sent the last text and he swears he did.  That was several months ago and it really didn't matter too much now anyway.  Over the holidays we saw each other online on the dating site we met on originally a couple summers ago, so he said hello.  He asked if he could text me again and I said of course.  He admitted that he had been creeping me on Facebook but was too shy to say hello.

We texted a bit, he wanted to go out on Saturday night, I had plans. He texted me again for later in the week.  I was tentative because I'm a little sick, and not sure I want to make a date.   He tells me to call him, and I can tell he is irritated that it took me a couple of hours to do so, reminding me of one our issues the first go around... I have two teenage boys and he has never had kids.  He is in his early 50's and is an amateur pilot, loves to scuba, travel, etc.  Basically the polar opposite of my current lifestyle.  Also, since he has never had kids he was always a little narcissistic and impatient when I had to put my kids over him.

Not only that but it was hard to relate to each other and even though I fundamentally liked him as a person, not having kids was a true turnoff to me.  I have dated 2 men who have had 5 kids and that is much easier for me to stomach than someone with none.   It isn't even about the lifestyle, its just about the priorities, the understanding of kids coming first.   Although my kids are teens and pretty self sufficient now, several years down the road it will be that he doesn't understand why I want to spend time with my grandkids when he has tickets to the symphony.

So, here I am in the now going to the grocery story at 8:00 on a freezing cold night and sick.  I'm trying to multitask and I can tell he is irritated, he feels backburnered.  I take his call and try to fake not feeling awful and be my normal vixen self and flirt a little.  My nose is runny and after a few really loud coughs, I realize I'm not fooling him or me so I give it up and be me.  We catch up a little while I'm using the ATM, he can hear it in the background and I can tell he is annoyed.   I'm balancing my phone to my ear as I grab my cash while also trying to maneuver the shopping cart... I picture him at home color coding his sock drawer.  

After our brief chat ends, I try to recall the sultry summer nights we spent together, the cute way he laughed and what a great person he is.  I'm not sure if I will see him again but I'm trying to keep an open mind.   My approach to dating this year is to be more careful and I'm trying to see where it goes.  While I'm reaching up high on the top shelf for the cereal my boys like, I get a text from a girlfriend:

GF:  Hey, wanna go to a Superbowl party hosted by a bunch of cops?

ME: Hellya!

I think 2011 is going to be a great year no matter what!


The Single Mom

Do you think it is smart to go out with an ex again?  Does it work to date someone who has never had kids if you have, especially in our 40's and beyond?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I know it is really hard to take decision to go back one’s ex person or not. Sometime I was indecision to go back my girlfriend. Thank you for your kind information.
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