Monday, January 24, 2011

A Menagerie of Freaks + One Nice Guy = My Inbox

Last entry: after our first date, “Herbie54” was coming on strong with me, then he had a sudden realization that he had unfinished feelings for his ex and cancelled a date with me.  In a weak moment, I drunk texted my ex, “Putter” (who broke up with me just before Christmas)...
I’d really love to say that “Putter” texted back and was thrilled to hear from me but that didn’t happen at all.   He did send me back a lame courtesy text but it was obviously charity and nothing else.  I reread it three times looking for something to hold onto, some little nugget of hope but it just wasn't there    It really hurt but made me realize that it was time to put my feelings for him in the past.   Sometimes we need a glass of cold water thrown right in our face for us to see reality and that text was that for me.   It was time to move on.
So, I did what any self-respecting (or not) single girl would do... I poured myself a big glass of red wine and I signed back on to the dating site to check my emails.  Hmmm… let’s see… well there is the guy who lives 2 hours away who is obsessed with me who texts me whenever he sees me online.  It’s creepy because it's like he waits to see me online, then I magically get a text at the same exact time (creeeeepy).   Nice... this time it is a sweet poem about me, it's charming and makes me smile and feel uncomfortable all at the same time.

Some goofy looking guy sent me a crappy form email, which irritates the stuffing out of me.  It is written in broken English and I'm suspicious that he is a scammer.   I opened another email from a dude who looks like he could be my grandpa who wants “friends with benefits”.  I’m sorry but there aren’t enough rufies on the planet to make that happen, grandpa sorry!  I'm in my 40's -- not Betty White, this old man surely needs new trifocals.  Or maybe he thinks "friends with benefits" is some kind of health care plan.  Either way, I'm out.

Is this really my life?   REALLY?   Maybe the "crazy cat lady" gig is a better idea... I like cats - I don't love them, but it does sound a hell of a lot better in this moment.   My expectations aren't altogether unrealistic: somewhat attractive, a nice guy, the ratio of teeth that he has is greater than the ones he doesn't.   Is that so much to ask for, I don't think so.   Maybe cats are the way to go.

Oh ok, here is one from some guy who is my polar opposite telling me how much we have in common.  Ya… I don’t think so Mr. Nascar, mullet man we don't have anything in common and I'm not going to drive 2 hours to meet you just to go to the tractor pulls just so I can tell you to your face.

Hmmmm.... cats are clean, and although I'm allergic I could take allergy medicine...

I’m hoping for better prospects when I check out the guys who have recently looked at my profile.   There are two new “lookers”, a shirtless guy who looks like he is maybe 20 and has multiple piercings on his face, and a super scary dude.  The scary dude has dark, long and stringy hair and his eyes look like they could burn a hole right through me.   Out of curiosity, I click on his profile… ok perfect… he is a witch… I’m not making this up and I’m not judging either, but it just isn’t my thing.  I’m home alone tonight and now kinda creeped out.  

Hmmmm.... I bet my dog would do ok with cats, ya I'm sure he would...

Just when I was about to give up hope of finding anyone resembling normal, a new email pops up in my inbox from a nice looking guy who seems sincere.  He is a couple years older than me cute, well-built and his profile talks about romance a lot.    The email he wrote is respectful and he even sounds maybe a little bit shy (Wow, does this guy know what he is getting himself into?).  
I’m really intrigued by how he seems so sweet, romantic and genuine.  Everything about the words he chooses and the way he approaches me is respectful and considerate.  There is something really different about him that grabs my attention.  So, I answer his email and get another from him in just a few minutes… in the course of about a half an hour we send back and forth 6 emails, each one more sweet and romantic than the next.    In the last one, he gave me his phone number and offers me to text him or call him whenever I’m ready, no pressure.  He hints at wanting to see me this weekend, so we will see.  Hmmmm… a nice guy, really?  Should I even get my hopes up?  Should I call him and see what “the catch” is?  Maybe he is so well built because he just got out of prison?   Perhaps I'm wearing "wine goggles".  lol
Hearing from the nice guy (Niceguy11)  took the sting out of getting an email from the guy who practices witchcraft…  deleting it immediately was a no brainer...  however sleeping tonight won’t be nearly as easy… 


The Single Mom

Next time:   A legit nice guy... and Herbie64 has second thoughts about cancelling his date with me... 

"Take a second out to think about this: in your life you search and search for the right person for you.  Every time you break up with someone you get one step closer to that person.  You should look at moving on as getting closer to meeting the one."   Ian Philpot


DavidRayDog said...

In case you didn't know (and just so ya know), we live with a bunch of cats. We've got a bit of a sanctuary I guess. And believe it or not, you can have a relationship in the middle of a menagerie (read "zoo"), although it does add another level of stuff to deal with regularly. bow wow meow!

singlemom said...

I love animals really. Unfortunately, being single if I got a cat it would be like waving a big red flag. I have the crazy already, all I need now is the cat(s). We have a naughty rescue dog, but he brings our home so much joy I can't imagine life without him. Kiss your kitties tonight (take that however you want). Tingly Smooches!

DavidRayDog said...

Cannot blame you - I wouldn't recommend being a crazy cat peep really, it's certainly not the life for everyone. There's always a ton of crap to deal with (literally), not to mention the heartache that comes all too often, especailly where street cats are involved.
It's great you have a rescue dog. I really love dogs. We hope to adopt a dog or two in the future, although that's another level of commitment we'll have to consider very carefully. There's so many that need a home. I do pick up loose dogs regularly if they're manageable. The moments where you can reunite a dog with their humans are majic, pure gold. Wooof!
Misty smiles & tingly smooches.