Thursday, February 24, 2011

After Putter

I've gotten a lot of emails and notes about Putter and I appreciate all of feedback, seriously.  I do have to tell you that on the day that it happened and through now I feel in control.  Control of me, how I feel and the boundaries I set for whatever relationship I have with him in the future. 

Honestly, feedback from the friends I have made by writing this blog have helped ground me and kept me a little more discliplined.   It's kind of a check and balance thing now, because I feel like if I do something that might not be the smartest thing, I still want to tell you about it.  I'm human, make mistakes and I hope that makes it easier for you to relate to me.  Its hilarious to say this, but truthfully when I was driving to his house that day, I kept thinking what would my readers think?  100% truth.  (Not that it stopped me or even slowed me down, mind you but I did think about it... lol)

Although this was incredible reunion and it exceeded my expectations by leaps and bounds, it also gave me a chance to have some closure.  I don't know if it makes sense to you at all, but I'm at peace with it all now more than I was before it happened.  Actually, I'm surprised maybe even more than you.  I looked at him more objectively and I think I was exaggerating his positive attributes too much this whole time. 

That being said, if he came to me today and was sincere about wanting to be with me and gave me what I need that I wouldn't want it.  However, if I've learned one thing, it's that I've come too far to settle for less than I deserve.   I'd be extremely skeptical now, knowing what I know now.

So, this gave me a chance to close that door (it's open a crack maybe), but to look at other doors that I can go through.   I have a first date this weekend and I'm looking forward to it.  We've taken our time getting to know each other.  I feel like I'm at a good place to meet someone new.  I'll of course tell you about it next week and let you know how it goes.  Thanks again for all of your support!


The Single Mom

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