Monday, February 14, 2011

My Past with "Rockstar" (Part 1): Hot Valentine's Day Plans with an Old Flame...

He swore I could FINALLY believe him and this time was really it.  We’d been through years, literally years of back and forth.
Stop and start. 
Hot and cold. 
Broken promises and shattered dreams… could they finally be coming to an end?    We had plans for Valentine's Day and I couldn't wait to see him again!
He started pursuing me again since before Christmas.  I was in a rocky relationship at the time and was extremely skeptical of Rockstar. (I’ve mentioned him a couple of times on the blog because we have talked a little over the past couple of months.)  He and I have tried this so many times, he pulled my heart through the ringer over and over again.  Finally he wore me down, the relationship I was in at Christmas had unraveled and now it was the night before Valentine’s Day.    We had plans to reunite for the whole day and night at my house.  My kids would be gone for the evening, I had fresh firewood and it was supposed to snow all day long.  It sounded like a perfect way to spend the day together.
My heart was ecstatic buying the chicken and scallions to cook him his favorite meal.  Portobello mushrooms, the slightly sweet Pinot Grigio, and his favorite beer were in my cart too.    Somehow the drudgery of going to the grocery store was fun today, daydreaming about having him finally where he should be, by my side.    In my heart, I always knew that eventually we’d be together again and it had been almost 2 years since I’d seen him.  Sure, we’d kept in touch on holidays and birthdays but the timing to see each other never was right.   Until now.
We met online five years ago and I felt an instant connection.  It was sweet as I noticed that he had looked at my profile a few times.  He was really cute and I hoped he would say hello, fingers crossed.    I didn’t want to make the first move and thought I’d be cool and wait for him.  I read his profile over and over for the 10 days or so it took him to first say hello.  He was tall and worked in computers, liked music seemed like a great guy.     He had wavy brown hair, a goatee and green eyes that sometimes looked brown.   His boyish smile made him seem so approachable, so genuine.    I could practically recite every word he wrote describing himself and what he hoped to find in a woman.
He was almost 10 years younger than me but was mature and an old soul despite his years.  When he finally sent me an email, I couldn’t open it fast enough.    It was extremely casual and said “Hey if  you wanna chat, give it a shot.”   He gave me his instant messenger address and asked me to add him but that was all the email really said.
I waited a respectable amount of time, 5 minutes (lol) and sent him an im invite.  He accepted immediately and we instantly began chatting.   My fingers flew over the keys as fast as they could, sharing inner thoughts and deepest hopes with this virtual stranger.  We talked about music and he sent me songs over im that I’d never heard but were so moving.  He sent me music  that his band had recorded, songs he wrote.  (You could almost hear the sound of panties dropping…lol)  He was a little bit of a free spirit but just enough that it was endearing.
Rockstar got major bonus points when he said he loved a couple of my favorite movies, Serendipity and Dead Poets Society.  We both quoted the same scenes and he was the first man who I met online who didn’t talk about underwear and sex within the first 10 minutes.    I felt like I knew him already... I couldn’t believe the connection we were feeling for each other.  I remember asking him, “Is this really happening?”  He said "Yes, of course it is happening, go with it!"
After our first long conversation, we talked every day a few times during the day and night.  Our schedules were really busy but finally he asked me out for the next Friday night but I already had plans.   He teased me that I had another date and he was right.  I was tempted to break the date but he encouraged me to go.   He instead asked me out for Saturday night and we both agreed we’d met then.   I could hardly wait and daydreamed about what to wear and what it would be like to finally meet him.
Friday’s date was with an Accountant and an hour’s drive to meet up.  We’d been talking for a few weeks and somehow now he seemed far less interesting.    Between bites of Pad Thai, I heard more about his cheating ex wife, whiny kids and boring job than I’d really wanted to know.  He said he was ready to have fun, to move on with someone new, yet his overall attitude was negative and was a major turn off.   After dinner we went to a movie which seemed like a good idea at the time because I wouldn’t have to talk to him.   When the night ended, I kissed him out of obligation and we exchanged promises to see each other again.   The entire drive home I thought about spending the next night with Rockstar and listened to the cd of our favorite group, singing along the whole drive home.
It was late by the time I got home and I felt badly because I hadn’t really given the accountant a real chance.  I thought about Rockstar the entire evening and when I finally got home it was after 1:00 am, I sent him an im just to let him know I missed him tonight.  It felt so corny and I wished I could take it back as soon as I hit send.    I was shocked when I immediately got an im back from him.  My heart melted when he said, I miss you too and can’t wait for tonight.  We talked back and forth until I just couldn’t keep my eyes open any longer.  I said goodnight and went to bed with a huge contented smile on my face dreaming about meeting him the next day.
It was July fourth weekend and we made arrangements for me to pick him up and we’d play the rest of the night by ear.  He was bringing music to listen to and I’d gotten some red wine and beer for us to drink and some snacks in case we ended up at my house (duh, who was I trying to fool?)   
I wore a skirt, knowing they were his favorite and a tight black blouse.   It was a casual but sexy outfit without being too much.  The evening was sticky hot and the drive to his house in my convertible was almost even too humid to be enjoyable.    I  followed the directions he gave me to the unfamiliar part of town that he lived and had to call him twice for clarification.  The final time I called him, he just blurted out, “Just get here!”   It was really cute and I felt the exact same way.
When I first saw him, I was immediately attracted to him.  He seemed taller than I expected, muscular and really handsome, just like his pictures.  We hugged tightly outside of my car and kissed hard when we both got inside my car.   At first the kiss was sweet both of our mouths opened just a little, tips of tongues barely touching each other’s.  The passion kept growing as we were kissing harder and harder.  
He kissed me exactly the way I liked to be kissed, it was passionate and not too sloppy, the pace was just right.   I could feel myself falling for him immediately and wanting him already.   It seemed like we had been kissing for at least 20 minutes.   We didn’t really care that we were outside his house and it was still light outside, kissing like teenagers.     I couldn’t believe the man I’ve been talking to for a couple weeks now was finally here with me and that we were physically attracted to each other after having so much emotional connection already.
Although we didn’t want to, we broke the kissing and I had to collect myself enough to be able to drive.   He put in a cd in my stereo as we drove along singing the songs that we’d talked about back and forth on im for the past couple of weeks.    I drove with one hand on the wheel as he held my other one in his for most of the drive. 
When we got to my place, we practically ran upstairs and started kissing again passionately.   Our bodies were pressed up against each other hard as we were touching each other through our clothing.   First his hands explored the outside of my breasts as we kissed.  My hands grazed his tight chest muscles through his polo shirt.   My eyes were closed tightly and I can remember hearing the sounds of random fireworks exploding in the background as we kissed, almost punctuating each kiss with an exclamation point.  We were on fire with passion and I was both relieved and irritated when he stopped and said let’s slow down a little. 
I grabbed him a cold beer to cool him off and opened the wine for myself as he turned on my computer and put in a cd he’d made for me of my favorite songs.    We both sat on the couch and he had me rest my head on his lap while we listened to the music.    Lying on his lap felt so comfortable and peaceful and we both were enjoyed just being together finally.    He finished the first beer and opened another, rubbing the cold bottle on my neck to cool me down.
One of our favorite songs came on, Someone Like You, by Van Morrison.   I opened my eyes to see him smiling, staring at me.   He knew this song was one of my favorites and it made me so happy that he made me a copy of it.    Our smiles faded in the silence as we both realized we were going to kiss again.   It was as if our lips were drawn to each other’s as I leaned up, his mouth hungry for mine. The song played in the background as we kissed, I listened to the lyrics and they couldn’t have been more perfect to express what I felt right then.  
I've been travellin' a hard road
Lookin' for someone exactly like you
I've been carryin' my heavy load
Waiting for the light to come
Shining through.
Someone like you makes it
All worth while
Someone like you keeps
Me satisfied. Someone exactly
Like you

Next time, more streamy details from the first date... and a Valentine's Day reunion?

Until then, have a wonderful Valentine's Day and Night ;)

The Single Mom

1 comment:

nicole d. said...

Happy Valentine's Day to you too...Can't wait to read the next installment :)