Friday, February 25, 2011

My Past with "Rockstar": (Part 6) Texting the Secret Texter, Shocking News and a Plan...

"Love Game"
Catching you up.... “Rockstar” stood me up on Valentine’s Day and broke my heart for what I swore was the last time.  We’d had a 5 year on and off history, broken heart (me) and lots of broken plans (him).     After Valentine’s Day he texted, emailed, called, Im’d, everything to try to convince me to give him another chance.   It was starting to get to me but I wasn’t sure yet.   After I went to a dinner out with girlfriends trying to forget about him, a Secret Texter, texted me.   She told me she was seeing him and I didn’t believe her at first.   When I confronted him about it, he told me she was lying and that it was probably a wrong number.    The next morning, I had a text from her, "Why did you tell him, you BITCH".    This told me he was obviously lying to me.

After getting her text, any shred of hope that he was telling me the truth had disappeared.   I wanted to believe him I really did, this hurt a lot.  I wasn’t sure about being with him ever again but knowing this now ruined my memories of our past.  Facing this reality forced me to take off my rose colored glasses and rewrite those memories and be honest with myself, finally.    
I had to realize that maybe those nights that he told me he was getting ready for a gig and practicing with his band wasn’t true.  He could have been lying to me about practically anything, now I had to reframe EVERYTHING.    It made me wonder about the times he cancelled for some reason that seemed true at the time or the business trip that popped up last minute, the sudden death in his family… perhaps everything was fabricated…maybe he never cared about me at all. 
I was confused, he acted like he cared and showed me in his own way.  He wrote a couple of songs for me and he was always there to talk to me when I needed him.    I tried to think of all possible explanations maybe he was casually seeing her, waiting for me to come back to him… bullshit, that was stupid.   No, dammit it was time to accept it, he had been lying to me, maybe for a very long time. It was finally time to face the truth and not be hurt by it anymore, now it was time to be MAD.
I was gonna to be damned if he was going to get the best of me now.  Uh huh, I’d been through way too much, fought my way back from being emotionally devastated and crushed to let this douchebag get to me now.  It was time to take back what was mine and have a victory for once.    There had to be a way to make this a win for me, the good guys had to win this one… but how?   I was gonna ride off into the sunset in a white hat somehow, just had to figure it out.
I had to know more about her, had to know who she was and why she was contacting me.
I texted my Secret Texter back and said,
I’m sorry, I had to confront him about it. I had to know the truth.

It’s ok.  I was really pissed at first but I was going to break up with him soon.

What did he say?

He was mad, but told me that you were an ex who wouldn’t leave him alone and you were just friends.

Oh really?  Are you KIDDING?  He said that?   He told me that you were probably a wrong number and to ignore you.

Nice. I read through some of his texts and I know the truth.

It doesn’t matter I’m over it and thank you for texting me.  You may have stopped me from making a mistake.  
She and I continued to text and share a lot of common experiences.  I had a busy morning, so we texted between loads of laundry, making breakfast for my boys and then going to my son’s basketball game.  Our conversation carried on throughout the day and we learned a lot about each other, and him. 
We had a lot in common, her first name was a lot like mine, she was blonde, curvy and petite.  She was about my age but was just a little older than me.    Honestly, it started getting a little creepy.  We talked about how we first met him, and how he always cancelled plans and unfortunately how he wasn’t that great in the bedroom.  (It’s funny taking those rose colored glasses off, how different a person looks, hehe)
At this point, I’d known him for about 5 years off and on.  She had been seeing him for about a year and a half.  Although, I hadn’t been with him in this year and half, I wondered if there was another woman when he was with me. 

I understand and I’m hurt too.  I really loved him and thought he loved me.

He can obviously be convincing when he wants to be.   What are you going to do?

I’m done with him, so done.

Although everything leading up to all this was shocking enough and I should have been prepared for anything, what she said next blew me away.  When the text came, I was cooking dinner for the boys… a routine dinner, browning ground beef, making sloppy joes, something I’d made dozens of times and didn’t have to think about anymore.    I literally had to catch myself, spatula in one hand, cell phone in the other so that I didn’t fall or drop the phone or both.  I walked a few steps to a chair to sit down, breathe and read it again, making sure I read it right.  Oh, I read it right, that douchebag! 

He is seeing another girl, too her name is Sherry. 

What? Are you kidding me?

No, I’m not wish I was.  Want to mess with him a little bit?


Oh, hell ya.  We are gonna have some fun with this boy!

Let's play a love game,
Play a love game
Do you want love or you want fame?
Are you in the game?

Love Game by Lady Gaga


The Single Mom

Next time in the Rockstar Series: Could I believe her?  Who was this other woman? 

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