Tuesday, February 8, 2011

A New Guy (chapter 2 of A Final Goodbye, Busting Putter in a Lie, and a New Guy



Ok, so for today’s post we are going to rewind just a little for perspective…  I had to wrap up the Putter story so that it wouldn’t get confusing, but the timeline overlapped with the date with the new guy.    All of this happened Sunday.   I had my kids most of the weekend (like just about every weekend) so I planned this date for a drink on Sunday afternoon…

Sunday
6:30 am – Putter returned my text from the night before explaining that he was on a date last night.
We texted a little bit back and forth, stopped for a couple hours, started again and then we went into "Dirtytown".   It started innocently enough by me saying I wish he would have given us a chance and gone out with me again to see if there was anything still there.    It went on from there….
11:30ish am – Putter and I decide to talk instead of texting (this conversation ironically happened while I was driving to the date with the new guy…   Putter and I talked about the past, apologized, talked about our hot past and talking about what it would be like if we got together now (HOT).     
I had to end the conversation to meet the new guy who  has already texted me that he’s waiting at the bar for me.    I think to myself, no this isn’t weird or anything… ya it is.
The new guy and I have talked a few times on the phone after meeting online and exchanging a couple of emails.  He seemed nice, 8 years older than me, professional , successful, a little geeky but in a cute way, and has a Porsche. (not really a big deal for me but helps describe him)   He initiated contact with me and I answered him but not necessarily quickly.
Our first phone conversation was a nightmare,  I was trying to figure out my new phone, then ironically had 3 dropped calls for some odd reason.  I was rushing off to meet girlfriends so somewhat distracted. This wasn’t the best way to make a first impression but the conversation was good taking all of the craziness into account. 
He lives downtown, about 30 minutes from me.  On the day we were planning to meet,  I had to pass through downtown so I planned to meet him at a restaurant down on the water, within walking distance of his apartment.


It really wasn’t fair but I truly wasn’t in the right place for a first date.  I didn’t do the first date checklist (cleavage, hotness, no “bats in the cave”, etc …).   To be honest, I threw on my makeup and did my hair between sending texts to Putter.    I wore black pants, ankle boots, a black tank and a red cardigan.  It was cute, showed some cleavage but not too much.    I didn’t prepare subjects to talk about, I just hung up my phone with Putter and walked into the restaurant where the new guy was waiting for me (another Irish Pub, wth?).  
He greeted me warmly, big hugs, smiles and a compliment about my looks.  We were seated at the bar and I ordered the same beer he was drinking.   The conversation went well.  I intentionally asked him questions, allowed him to talk about himself, mostly about happy things.  He talked about his grandchild, how he loves living downtown, and all the fun travelling he has done for business.   I made an effort to actively listen, to make eye contact and to touch him on his arm a couple of times.    It seemed to be going well.
He subtly hinted about wanting to kiss me and reached in his coat pocket, pulling out a present for me.   He presented me a Hershey’s Kiss that was about the size of a plum.    It was a sweet gesture and  I hugged him for a few seconds as I thanked him.    
He excused himself to use the restroom and I waited casually for a few seconds to check my phone…  No message from Putter.  I had a dirty text from the cop (I haven’t met in person yet).    I checked my blog’s Facebook page to see what my friends were doing and then ditched my phone before he came back.
We talked more about him and how he hates living alone, dining alone and cooking for himself.    He hasn’t been divorced  very long yet, (yikes I didn’t realize it was only 8 months).     He crafted  a subtle hint about taking me out to dinner at the fancy restaurants downtown and the jazz club across the street  from his apartment (knowing I love jazz).   There is a lot to do downtown, you can be by the water in a 10 minute walk or be at the stadium for a sporting event, or a concert.   There is a performing arts theatre downtown that has a lot of fun events, he is selling me pretty hardcore.  
In contrast to my suburban life, I spent my Saturday night (the night before) at our local high school basketball game with my son.  We drove through Taco Bell on the way home and shared tacos as we talked about the game we just saw.
My date talked about the incredible steak at the swank place downtown, how beautiful it was plated and how delicious it was.   I think to myself, the closest thing I’ve had to steak lately was the bite of my son’s steak burrito from Taco Bell the night before. 
He talked about all of the places he’s traveled:  London, San Francisco, Indonesia and Paris.   He talked about how he had wanted to go to Cancun over the holidays, but the only thing stopping him was that he didn’t have anyone to go with him (subtly hinting that had he known me…)  He asked me where I’d go if I could go anywhere.   I said I’ve always wanted to go to Hawaii.    He then asked,  “Why don’t you go? What is stopping you?  Why don’t WE go?”
I think to myself, how to answer this???… Well, my checking account is currently withdrawn by $24.73, I have to hand wash my dishes because I can’t afford to have my dishwasher fixed, I can’t remember the last real vacation I’ve had… I don’t think these are the answers he’s looking for…   So, I answer by shrugging my shoulders and say, “I don’t know.”   He asked if I have someone to watch my kids for a week.   He’s serious.    What is the right answer here???…  “Hell ya!” no… I think to myself “too much” … I go with the more subtle, “Heck ya!”   
We playfully continued this conversation and we talked about the steak restaurant near my house that has excellent steaks (I’ve been there only once for dinner…).   He asked if he could take me there and I said yes of course, he said “I’ll pick you up.”   I imagine for a brief second a Porsche turning into my subdivision, parting the sea of Minivans, him looking for my house, people carrying in groceries with their mouths wide open, wondering if someone is lost… 
I cut my daydream off in time to realize it was getting late and I did have to leave to meet some friends.  He said that he wished we didn’t have to cut it so short as he helped me on with my coat and walked me out.   He hugged me and planted a kiss on me, even though I could tell he was nervous, it was sensual, but not too much.
I drove off to my destination, the cop called me on the way, talking kinda dirty.   When I got to my friend's house, I had a text from my date that said, “You are a GREAT kisser!”   We texted a couple more times that night as did the cop and I before bed.  
The next morning I got an email from the new guy saying that he wasn’t sure he was ready for a relationship right now and he had to take more time for himself.   I read the email again to make sure I wasn’t confused.
Hmmmm…. maybe I should have put out? 
Smooches,

The Single Mom 

Next time… do I see him again?   Do I hear from Putter?  Do I have a date with the cop?   Do I have a date for Valentine's Day?

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