Thursday, February 17, 2011

The Top Ten Things the Single Mom Learned About Sex and Dating the Hard Way

1. If your dog gets your vibrator and chews it... the teeth marks are kinda cool... jussayin.  (Read "Phone Sex, Sex Toys and Getting Totally Busted)

2. Run, don't walk if you go to his place and the only furniture he has is two recliners and a big ass tv. (no bed, no table)  Seriously, make tracks girl.

3. He's NOT a keeper if he takes you to Hooters to watch cage fighting on a first date. Really?  Yes, REALLY!

4. It's kinda hot sexting at a PTA meeting.

5. Bikini wax is harder than HELL to get off of your kitchen countertop. 

6. If you've had a date with someone and you're not totally sure if he has teeth or not, it's not worth asking. 

7. If he offers to take you to Bob Evans on a first date, he's probably not "the one".

8.  If he has "mandals" or wears white tennis shoes with jeans, move on.  Now.

9. If his pickup line at a bar is, "I want to eat your ..." he might be just after one thing.  Maybe, but it might be worth finding out. lol

10.  Be very clear that you are texting someone you've slept with in the past when you're asking them if they know about "com viruses".   They might think you mean a STD and you are gonna freak the shit out of them.   Say instead, "COMPUTER Virus".  True story.

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