Tuesday, March 8, 2011

My Past with "Rockstar" (Part 7): More Lies

Catching you up.... “Rockstar” stood me up on Valentine’s Day and broke my heart for what I swore was the last time.  We’d had a 5 year on and off history, broken heart (me) and lots of broken plans (him).     After Valentine’s Day he texted, emailed, called, Im’d, everything to try to convince me to give him another chance.   It was starting to get to me but I wasn’t sure yet.   After I went to a dinner out with girlfriends trying to forget about him, a Secret Texter, texted me.   She told me she was seeing him and I didn’t believe her at first.  

When I confronted him about it, he told me she was lying and that it was probably a wrong number.    The next morning, I had a text from her, "Why did you tell him, you BITCH".    This told me he was obviously lying to me.    She and I then compare similar stories of his lies, she also tells me he is seeing a third woman.  We decide to align forces against him.

Rockstar’s text came not too long after Mystery Texter and I said goodbye for the night.

Helllooooo?   Where are you?   Is your "stalker" still texting u?
The Single Mom
No.  I told her to leave me alone.  I believe you baby, I’m sorry. 
(I lied, of course.  I felt a momentary twinge of guilt but it passed quickly when I remembered all the money I had “loaned” him through the years and how many times I was there for him.   This is how he thanks me for all that love and support?  I’m done feeling badly about it, he deserved a taste of his own medicine and he was about to get it.)

You should trust me by now, I love you and you will see that in time.  
(Did he REALLY just say this??? Luckily I didn’t have to face him right now.   I reread his words in a mocking voice: “You should trust me by now, I love you and you will see that in time.”    I then held the phone in my left hand and flipped my middle finger of my right hand at his the picture of him next to those words.   What a bastard! 

The Single Mom
I know baby, it’s gonna take time for both of us.

When can I see you?

The Single Mom
Very soon, baby.  I miss you so much.  (lying through my teeth…)

I have something for you, well actually a few things.

The Single Mom

Well one thing I can give you now, the other things when I see you. 

The Single Mom
Well, I’m pretty sure I know what one of them is (a certain body part, of course).

Well, of course… but this is from my heart, not from “little Rockstar”.  (Little was pretty accurate, but I wasn’t going to be mean…)

Just then, my email chime alerted me that I had a new email from him. 

I know we’ve been through a lot and it’s all my fault.  I’m so sorry and all I can do is to show you how much I love you every day from here on out.  I’ve made so many mistakes and I can’t expect you to trust me now, but you will I promise. 

These past few weeks have been hell without you, knowing that I hurt you has torn me up.  Please just remember the song I wrote for you when we first met, the one about taking it a step at a time.  That’s what we have to do now, just take every day one at a time and we will be together forever.   (He knew that bringing up the song he wrote me always got to me.)
I sent you a song that has gotten me through these past few weeks without you.   I’ve listened to it over and over again and it describes exactly how I feel and how I’m going to be here for you from now on.   Please, please give me a chance, give us a chance.  Close your eyes, relax and listen to the words and remember how much I love you.
The song that he sent was Sade, By Your Side.
You think I'd leave your side baby
You know me better than that
You think I’d leave you down when you're down on your knees
I wouldn't do that

I grabbed my laptop, glass of Cabernet and turned off the lights.  Although my eyes were closed, huge tears ran down my face as the words of the song made me hunger for him to really care about me like that.  Maybe he did care a little bit, but just maybe he wasn't capable of loving me like I wanted or needed.

After the song was over I sat in the darkness and silence thinking of everything and how much I wanted to truly believe he felt this way for me.   I thought of our times together, happy memories and how good it felt to wake up next to him. 

It had been a couple of hours since I talked to my Mystery Texter, so I decided to check in with her.

The Single Mom

Have you heard from him lately?

Mystery Texter

Yes, but I ignored him.  He sent me an email with a song.

The Single Mom

Oh ya, was it By Your Side from Sade?

Mystery Texter

Yes, how did you know?

The Single Mom

Do you have the number of the other girl he is seeing?

Mystery Texter
Yes, I thought you'd never ask!


The Single Mom

Next time: I text the other woman, what does she say?  


Just Call Me Frank said...

Nice cliff hanger baby!


singlemom said...

Thanks & thanks for reading!!! I'm a big fan of your blog! Smooches, <3 TSM