Monday, April 18, 2011
Passionate Kisses and Steamy Memories
Turn left at the first stop light, right at the corner with the 7-Eleven, are you there yet? Yes. Ok so let me know when you pass the big church on the right. Ok, I just did. Turn right into the condo development before the stop light. Turn right at the first street and go down halfway, you’ll see my white car on the left… you do remember my white car, don’t you? Oh, ok good.
“I can’t wait to see you”, he said.
“I’m looking forward to it too”, I said nervously after a long unplanned pause.
I turned into the driveway next to his white car where he was waiting for me. I returned his smile and wave, rolled up the windows and took a huge breath. My left foot was the first to touch the ground, stepping out of the car. I wore my red high heels, I heard him say “wow” out loud when he saw the first one hit the pavement.
I styled my hair totally differently than I usually do, it was curled and I was dressed up to go to an art exhibit. He said “Wow you are gorgeous! I had forgotten how incredibly gorgeous you are.” We hugged each other and kissed.
The kiss was nice but I stopped it before it got out of control and he didn’t push it. We’ve talked about boundaries and ground rules and he’s playing by mine this time. Going to his house was one of the first changes he’s making. We always were at mine, mostly because of convenience, because it’s close to his work, but it bothered me. Also, our relationship was always about sex, so he’s more engaging, asking questions, he’s been trying to get to know me on a different level.
After I sent him a few well deserved abrupt emails and after I received profuse apologies, I started hearing him out. He knew what he had done was wrong and he was making a real effort to change. We began texting and then talking and finally today after I cancelled on him twice, I agreed to meet him. He was humble, apologetic and complimentary. He said over and over what a good woman I am and how he wanted to be the man I needed him to be.
He took me inside and showed me around his impressive condo. Wow, it made my house look like a crackerjack box, it was obviously professionally decorated and the details were making me salivate, as that’s one of my things. He then took me outside to the deck overlooking the small lake. He had my favorite drink waiting for me, and he was very sweet about pulling out my chair. It was the perfect setting for our conversation. He asked if he could hold my hand as I began talking and I agreed.
He looked in my eyes and seemed really sorry, time will only tell of course. I’m different now, my life is different and what I won’t accept has changed. I work all the time now and I don’t have time for bullshit, moreover I won’t tolerate it. It was good having this time with Freakshow, but I’m not going to make the same mistakes again. Honestly, he’s begged me a few times to see me, and I’ve put him off because I was working, I’m driven and I’m very selective about who gets my time.
We continued talking and sharing our feelings. I know I could feel close to him again if he is truly different. The day was perfect, he was different today. We got up from the table and I leaned against the railing to take in the beautiful day and the view of the ducks splashing around on the water. He put his arms around me and held me as we just stood there in silence. He moved my hair to the side, drew a line on my skin with his index finger and then kissed the imaginary line he just drew with his finger. He knew exactly how to get to me and suddenly memories of the hot days and nights of last summer flashed into my mind.
I tried to not act affected by his gentle kisses and nibbles on my neck but I don’t think I was pulling it off. In fact, I KNOW I wasn’t pulling it off. He wasn’t either, he held me tightly and I could feel his desire for me.
We look like we fit together. He’s blonde, has blue eyes and is tall. I’m those things, except the tall part. I feel safe, protected and like a woman in his arms. He’s strong, handsome and funny. Today was a perfect day, we kissed long and passionately as I said goodbye. It left us both wanting more and it was great being heard and in turn hearing his feelings for me. I’m not sure if there is still a place in my heart for him and if he just maybe let too much time pass. I don't know but only time will tell, huh?
The Single Mom
Would you like to have a little peek into my boudoir? Tomorrow, I’ll show a little glimpse inside my den of inequity (lol).
The Single Mom Says: It feels braggy repeating that he calls me gorgeous, so just know I'm not trying to be a snot, just telling you what he said, ok?