Friday, May 20, 2011

Good Sex: from Filet Mignon to Meatloaf. Wait... what? Learning the Single Mom’s Sex Lingo…

A conservative and crowded office plus two silly best friends created the necessity to invent a new language to describe the night before’s sex.  
Over cube walls, we’d brag that we got some Filet Mignon the night before or commiserate over getting served up Meatloaf (with a heavy sigh).    Filet Mignon was the ultimate standard for the best sex until I dated someone with a little naughty streak who caused us to create a new superlative for great sex, Cajun Filet Mignon: a great steak, with a little bit of a spicy kick. 
The Single Mom is all about only having Filet Mignon, I’d rather starve and hold out for it than to choke down a lesser piece of meat.   I want the whole meal, the Filet Mignon, preferably Cajun, a robust red wine, a great salad, the perfect baked potato and finish with a yummy dessert.    

On the other hand, sometimes you only have time for Pot Roast, and that’s ok.  It’s Tuesday night and the kids are asleep in the next room, have your Pot Roast dinner.  There’s nothing wrong with a decent pot roast meal in between Saturday Filet Mignons.
On the bad side are the crappier cuts of meat or course or meat substitutes, blech.   Don’t even get me started on bad clams or smelly seafood, not on MY menu of course.   I’m quite sure I don't have to explain Vienna sausages either.  No thank you!    
So here is our rating system that Katie and I invented to disguise our dirty conversations in the office.

Cajun Filet Mignon – the best sex plus a little kick (or a pinch or a little slap, just sayin)!

Filet Mignon – the best sex

Pot Roast  decent sex, filling and good, nothing to write home about but still a good night

Meatloaf – everyday sex, humdrum but satisfying, nothing special, but filling

Ribs - good sex, kinda messy but really yummy and maybe a little sticky too

Sloppy Joes – bad sex, all over the place, random, forgettable

Bologna Sandwich – bad sex, cheap, quick and unfulfilling

Spam – crappy sex, cheap and regrettable

Tofu – NOT real sex ie things like phone sex, sexting, etc

In other news...
THANK YOU for reading and a huge thank you if you’ve voted for my little blog on the Circle of Mom’s top 25 single parent blogs.  As the new kid, I’m humbled to be among this incredible group of writers.   My blog is only several months old and I’m so grateful to be growing in readership and to be entertaining and touching people with my stories.  Thank you so much for reading and sharing yourselves with me! 
The voting ends very soon, so if you haven’t voted yet, please do, it’s very simple and SO appreciated.  Thank you!!!
I hope you have lots of Filet Mignon this weekend... I'm holding out for it...

Big Smooches,

The Single Mom


Dating said...

Good Sex: from Filet Mignon to Meatloaf. Wait... what? Learning the Single Mom's Sex Lingo… A conservative and crowded office plus two silly best friends created the necessity to invent a new language to describe the ...

bleu said...

Well to be honest, I'm not even getting tofu! LOL. I've been so caught up with being a mom, I haven't dated in over year, but maybe that will change in a few months ;)

PS-My friends and I have a similar lingo, we use 'coloring' and 'crayons' as code words in front of the kiddos. So in other words, I haven't pulled out my coloring book in a while, no crayons in sight!

singlemom said...

Hi, Bleu. Thank you for reading and for your comment, you cracked me up. I like your secret code too. I must say I'm in a different place, having teenagers so I do have more freedom. I'd say enjoy your kids right now and when you are ready to date you will know. Dating takes so much emotional energy and it's really draining. So, when you are ready to start coloring again, you'll hopefully find a lot of colorful crayons to use.

Please come back anytime and I hope you'll let me know how you are!


James Marriott said...

Hmmm, Ribs sounds better than meatloaf, curious as to the order or am I missing something?

I'd go for messy sticky sex with you (dang, freudian slip)... sticky sex over everyday humdrum sex.

But then you know me... ;-)

singlemom said...

Yes, I agree... the order wasn't necessarily a list in precise order... "ribs" is a really good meal, so ya you are right on, as always. Smooches.

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