Thursday, May 19, 2011

Grey Skies, Grey Suits and Grey Skyscrapers... A Romantic Date Downtown

Somewhere between applying strokes of lavender eyeshadow and carefully pulling blonde strands of hair through my straightner, his text arrived.  He said, “Are you nervous?”  I replied back, “No not really, just trying to hustle.” 
After I sent it, I realized that that wasn’t true.  I WAS nervous, and it was an extremely rare feeling for me.  I don’t get nervous about much lately.   Two weeks ago, I had to do some public speaking and I was barely phased.  First dates don’t really throw me off anymore, I try to maintain very low expectations and go into a first date with an open mind.   Well an open mind and a caveat to not maul me, minor details, right?
We’ve been talking for a few weeks, the chemistry has been getting stronger in the past couple of weeks and there was something about him that pulled me in.  I wanted to meet him just to know if there was chemistry in person.     He has a lot of the traits that I’m looking for and I think he’d be a good fit in my life.
After I sent him the text, I decided to be honest with him about being nervous.  Thinking through it, I realized if he was asking this question that he was probably a little nervous too.  This wasn’t the typical coffee date that’s practically cliché of online dating.   We’ve been talking for several weeks now and we know a lot about each other.    The past week the texting has gotten more intimate and sexual.
My heart was racing and I was a little shaky.  I’m not exactly sure why, but I was.   He has a lot of the traits I’m looking for and this first date feels a little different somehow.  I can’t put my finger on it but it just does and I think we both feel it.  
I wear a cute and feminine lavender top that shows some cleavage, but not a lot.   It’s a great choice to emphasize my blue eyes, tan skin and blonde hair.   Boots and jeans are also in order for this unseasonably cold May afternoon.   I take extra care applying makeup and to make my hair look cute.   I chose minimal jewelry and start driving downtown to meet him.  His call comes as I’m driving a little too fast and trying to navigate through traffic.
I pick up his call and he’s excited  and says almost childlike, “Where are you?”   I name the exit I’ve just passed to give him a frame of reference.     We talked for a few minutes as I took the downtown exit.     As I was stopped at the traffic light, I pulled down my rearview mirror to apply my light pink lipgloss and take one more check of my makeup in the mirror.    A deep breath and a stick of gum are in order as my foot pushes the accelerator as the light changes to green.
As I’m changing lanes, bits and pieces of the lyrics of this song make their way to my consciousness.    The Script – For the First Time
We just now got the feeling that we're meeting
For the first time
For the first time
Oh, for the first time
Yeah, for the first time

I park and walk to our meeting place, he recognizes me across the crosswalk of 6th street .  It’s lunchtime downtown, many professionals walking to and from lunch.     He crosses the crosswalk and suggests a few lunch places.  Unfortunately, because of traffic my commute took longer than normal and we don’t have a full hour to have lunch.   Instead we just went for a walk by the fountain and made small talk to fight the nerves. 
We sat down on a bench surrounded by people rushing from here to there.  It’s a cloudy, grey sky, the buildings are grey concrete and lots of grey power suits complete the picture.   He’s about what I expect, tall, cute and articulate.     His nerves are obvious yet endearing. 
Our time is really limited and since we are in public, it’s kind of hard to gauge how the connection is going.   The eye contact is direct and lingering.   We casually find excuses to touch each other, in a cute 6th grade way.   His casual punch to my bicep brought us both to silly laughter, long eye contact and then a somewhat awkward silence.    He gulps and exhales dramatically as he tells me that he is seeing someone but isn’t happy.   I’m not sure how to handle this revelation and I’m understandably irritated that he hasn’t found a way to tell me until now. 
I teased him about how he made a point to profess his honesty when he told me that overall he preferred brunettes to blondes, but chose to be dishonest about something so monumental.    We made awkward small talk as we avoided the difficult topic like it was the plague.  Chit chat ensued about each other’s shoes as he teased me about my height and that I wore stilettoes so that I could be a little taller for him.  Our conversation was playful and innocent, yet had some moments of flirting. 
Time was escaping quickly and I suggested that I start leaving.   We walked the couple of blocks back to the garage where my car was parked with more playful chit chat.   We stopped on the sidewalk, he asked if he could kiss me and I blankly nodded.  Our mouths met in a perfect kiss especially considering we were in the middle of a congested city block.  It was passionate and hinted at how much passion there truly is under the surface for both of us.
As I turned to walk away, he playfully smacked my ass as I headed toward my car.     I headed into the building, passed the security guard who greeted me on my way in while my mind was clearly somewhere else.  His cologne and his kiss were imprinted in my mind, yet so was the complicated situation.
It took several minutes for me to get to down to my car and back up to ground level.   As I paid the parking attendant, my text box chimed with three new texts:   “Wow, you are a beautiful lady.” “ You smell AMAZING… vanilla?”  “OMG your ass, are you kidding me?”  
I laughed when I read them but had to process everything.  I drove the long way out of downtown, recalling my daily commute 20 years ago, around the statue, passing by the skyscraper that I spent several years on floor 27, and by the little park where we often went with our lunch.   I needed time to collect my thoughts and process my feelings.
I drove the next 20 minutes alone with my thoughts wondering why it couldn’t be easier.  Wondering why when I met someone I like that it couldn’t be simple.    I texted him while sitting at the first light “Call me when your situation changes.”   He texted back immediately, “I want you and I’ll make it happen.”
I went through the mundane chores of the day, thoughts of him always there.   His face was the last thing I thought of when I closed my eyes for the evening.  I’m not going to make a bad decision.  I’ve been through too much, it’s his move to make.

Smooches,

The Single Mom

6 comments:

Linda said...

Good for you.

I know you like him, and are excited, but what kind of man spends extensive time texting and setting up dates when he is already in a relationship?

I suspect a cheater. Sorry. Stay strong.

singlemom said...

Linda, you are so right. I hope that my writing tone indicated that I am being realistic and cautious. This is a red flag and I'd have to see a whole lot of good things before I'd be suckered into something like this. I've been there done that so many times and although I think people can change, I think it's very rare and I'm not fooling myself. I have another date tomorrow night with someone else, so I'm definitely not one to sit around waiting, no sir. Thank you for reading and thank you so much for your comment!

Smooches,

The Single Mom

Just Call Me Frank said...

Best writing so far. Love the way you told this story!!!

Be cautious lady love, you know...you know <3

Love,
Frank et el xoxox

singlemom said...

Thank you so much, Frankiebaby. This was hard to write for some reason and I appreciate that you enjoyed the read. I will be careful, it is extremely tricky and I'm not in a hurry to get my ass kicked yet again. Love ya!! Smooches! SMD

Linda said...

red flags waving!!!

you saw it... the guy is a douche! if he can lie to the woman he's currently with, he can lie to you too.

delete delete delete!!

singlemom said...

Linda, you are so right and sometimes we just have to listen to our gut even if we don't want to. I had a date last night with a wonderful man, will post about it on Monday... dreamy. So, times up for Mr. Douche. Thanks for your advice and for reading! Smooches!!!