Friday, June 17, 2011

Who is The Single Mom??? It's a SECRET! But Why???

What’s your name?
Where you at?
When I think of you I get a rush
I wanna meet my Ms. Anonymous

I always get asked why I don’t write under my true name and tell where I live.   Other bloggers do it and seemingly don’t have issues and yet I’ve made this choice.  I’d really like for you to see what I really look like, I’m not a troll or anything so it’s not that at all.
For me the biggest reason and it’s probably obvious is that I write openly about sex and I have children.  I’d like to protect my kids, who are teens from being teased about their mom’s stuff or being freaky or whatever.   I think this has Captain Obvious written all over it.   Duh.
The second reason is it could affect my dates either in a positive or negative way.   I wrestle all the time if I should tell a person I’m dating that I might write about them.  It varies on a case by case basis.    Really, it can affect them in a negative way and discourage them if they didn’t want to be written about.  It could have the complete opposite affect and they could want to be written about and stick around in my life longer. 
Honestly, writing about someone I’m dating and knowing that they read can change what I want to say.    I constantly wrestle with the ethics of writing about someone versus writing interesting content.   I always lean on the side of representing someone fairly, almost to a fault.   I just tell it like it is.    Being anonymous helps protect the people I date also.
Very few friends know about what I do, it’s something I guard very closely, almost to a fault.   Of the ones who do know, often they ask if I’ve written about them.   It always strikes me funny when people ask me that who live the married suburban (yawn) life.   I just want to say “Ya I write about your pork chops and your sassy red minivan all the time, who wouldn’t?”
I’ve connected with so many readers in a very personal way and I thank you for sharing yourselves with me.    As I’ve written in the past, of my "real life" friends who do know very few read me or even are supporters of me doing this.  I’d be lying if I said it doesn’t bother me a lot because it really does.  However, I want you to know that I’ve grown close to many of you, hopefully more in the future.  Ironically, you don’t know what I look like and yet we are very intimate.   I thank you for sharing yourselves so generously with me.
I know sometimes it can be frustrating because you WANT to know what I look like and yet one of the strongest reasons I don’t reveal myself is so that I can keep being “undercover” and bring you more interesting posts.   
There is a little bit of good news if you’re curious… I do have a picture that I’m getting ready to release that shows a glimpse of me.  If you want to see it, send me (to: your email address and I’ll mail it to you first, ok?    Smooches!!

Why you gotta be anonymous?
Baby I want you so much
Wanna hold, wanna feel your touch
Come fast girl I’m in a rush
Why you gotta be anonymous?
I wanna know, I gotta know
Your name, your name, your name
Why you gotta be anonymous?

Anonymous, Bobby Valentino

The Single Mom


James Marriott said...

Where's the crazy cat lady I thought I was going to see here?

Seriously though I think you're doing the right thing staying anonymous. Both as a blogger / writer and with your dates (I know you've told some). It can't help but effect how things go (as I've rambled on about before).

As for seeing what you look like... I kinda like the fact I don't know *wink*

Great post. Thank you as always.



singlemom said...

Funny, James. I'm afraid the crazy cat lady is a lot closer than I want to admit.

Thanks for your comments about staying anonymous. Honestly, it makes it harder and I think I would have an easier go of it if friends could spread the word, but it's part of the deal. Thanks for reading! Smooches!!

DavidRayDog said...

Hey, crazy cat ladies are OK in my book - I'm married to one. ;D
Actually, she's exceptionally responsible & maybe not crazy enough, not as crazy as I am anyway since I'd like to add a couple of doggies to the mix.
Great post as always! Tingly hugs & smooches!

bleu said...

Totally understandable! I love reading your blog... I know quite a few blogs that are anonymous. A little mystery is intriguing.

Alanb0456 said...

I do believe that you are doing the right thing and as always the protection of your children is number one!


singlemom said...

Thanks for the support! Yes it makes it harder to be anonymous, but I think it's the right thing for us. Hope so anyway.

Anonymous said...

Stay anonymous. I like being one of the few that know you:) and I do read your blog and think you're awesome Love u.

singlemom said...

Dear "Anonymous"... thanks for your comment and for reading. I love you too and thank you for all your love and friendship through the years. Big hugs, Single Mom