Wednesday, July 27, 2011
A Romance with a Reader?
It was a normal weekday morning in May, answering emails, checking Facebook and Twitter through bleary eyes and between sips of coffee. My normal routine is to send good morning messages first thing on both sites.
Usually, every morning conversations on Twitter happen and I find myself chit chatting with several people. This morning was extremely typical. A flurry of conversations ensued, someone new sent me a tweet, introduced himself and we started having a little twitter conversation of our own. It was playful, fun and a little flirty, just a little. He lived up east and we had a fun banter. It was harmless fun and since he lived so far away, I didn’t take it seriously. It was a typical morning on Twitter, several simultaneous chats, somehow this one naturally trailed off as they have a way of doing.
The next morning it was a pleasant surprise to hear from him again. We began chatting again, picking up where we left off. The conversation went longer that morning and it was a lot of fun.
This was the start of our friendship and we talked like this most mornings or at random times throughout the day. If I posted a new blog post, he’d read it and we’d chat about it. He picked up reading the blog about when I had my first date with Latin Lover and read the previous posts too. This is pretty typical, I usually get feedback from readers and I love hearing from them so immediately.
He enjoyed the post about Latin Lover and how sexy it was. After our first initial chats we ended up messaging each other privately, sharing a little more about our personal lives. I asked him a couple of questions from a guy’s perspective on things with Latin Lover, sometimes asking for advice on what to do, how to move forward, interpreting his signals, things like that. He was great about offering the guy’s perspective and I appreciated being able to pick his brain.
Over the next couple of weeks, we started becoming friends. He knew so much about me because he read the blog and we started to send each other messages about our personal lives. Eventually, he started sending me messages on weekends because I’m active on my Twitter and Facebook pages over the weekends too.
We were becoming close and shared a lot. There were times that we happened to be watching the same sporting events and I can remember one time when he gushed, I don’t mean to scare you when I say this, but you sound like a perfect woman. I laughed about it and thought it was sweet. I never considered meeting him face to face, but it made me smile.
The conversation about meeting came up a lot in a joking way. He used to quip that when I did my book tour, I’d have to plan a stop in his city so I could meet him. It just seemed like a harmless little fantasy and I didn’t take it seriously. I enjoyed talking with him and he seemed to care about me. Our lives are extremely different, my life revolves around my children and he’d never had children. He has a lot of hobbies and is well read. These days, I’m lucky to finish a blog post or a cereal box. Basically, if it’s more than 140 characters, I haven’t read it.
He also shared with me that reading my blog helped him in a profound way. It showed him how much he missed having passion and romance in his life and he resolved to find that again in his life. Hearing this touched me and I thanked him for sharing such a personal epiphany with me.
Through writing the blog and interacting with readers has made me have a revelation of my own, I now see the walls I have built. Before your input I used to just think the relationship pileup I’d racked up was the fault of the men I’d dated. While some of this can be true, most of it is because of my own issues about keeping people away. I’m surrounded by a large group of friends who care about me so much. Yet, I don’t talk to any one of them every single day. Eventually, it occurred to me that I talk to this man I met on Twitter every single day and other than my children, that wasn’t true for anyone else in my life. In fact, I said that to him in a message and it made me rethink a lot about myself.
A few weeks ago, I experienced a personal calamity and had an emotional breakdown. I received some really awful news in the middle of the night and had a little party of hating on myself. I was a crying fool, having a little train wreck on the floor of my bedroom at 2:30 am. I realized that he sent me his usual good night greeting that evening and I hadn’t responded. I sent him a message that something awful happened and I wasn’t going to be around the next morning, I had to deal with some urgent matters and that I was crying like a baby. I didn’t want him to worry about me the next morning when he didn’t hear from me.
Between sobs and sniffles I heard the chime go off on both my phone and computer within a few minutes of sending him the message. It wasn’t altogether unusual to get emails in the middle of the night, because I get emails 24/7 so I almost didn’t even check it. But something made me curious to check this one. I couldn't believe it when I saw it was from him. He was worried about me and wanted to know if I was in any physical danger or if there was anything he could do for me. It made me cry harder knowing he cared about me that much.
He offered to talk to me and I did something that I promised myself I never would do. I called a male reader. Before now, I told myself this was a line I wouldn’t cross, but I really wanted to talk to him, I needed to talk to him. I took a deep breath and dialed his number.
Next time: How did the phone call go? Will we talk again? Will he be "nickname-worthy", if so what?
Thanks for reading, more to come soon...
The Single Mom