Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Why Love Makes Us Bat Shit Crazy

I heard from several of you about my regrettable texting meltdown from a couple of weeks ago.  Several of you who said you’ve done similar things or worse and although I’ve done more than my share of bat shit crazy stuff under the influence of love, it made me wonder why we lose it when we start to become attached to someone. 
I’ve definitely done more than my share of angry texting and felt regret the next day.  Maybe you’ve never done this but I’ve been so mad a couple of times that I locked my phone in my car to stop myself from saying something I’d regret the next day.  Although my car was in the garage two floors down I got up in the middle of the night to go get it.  Go me. 
It’s so easy to say things over text that you might not normally say.  It’s so much easier to get things off your chest in a quick text than having a verbal conversation.  Also, one can misconstrue meaning or to take things out of context, so a texting conversation can become volatile because of a simple misunderstanding. 
I’m gonna slip on the white lab coat, put my hair up and put on my glasses for this next part.   (I’m goin all Discovery Channel on you here for a minute…)   I found a couple of quotes about the science behind the crazy love thing. 
Most women find themselves acting a bit uncharacteristically cuckoo after they fall hard for a guy, and there’s a physiological reason why passion can have such a strange effect. “Being in love floods your system with mood-altering chemicals,” explains Helen Fisher, PhD, author of Why We Love. “These chemicals throw off your normal brain chemistry, tampering with your common sense and judgment.”

“It’s called falling in love for a reason — it comes upon us quickly and knocks us off our feet,” explains Pamela Regan, PhD, professor of psychology at California State University at Los Angeles. All the emotional tumult can trigger obsessive, impulsive actions, she adds

So, there you go, logical explanations about going bat shit crazy after you fall in love.   Hope you find it and keep it easier than I do!  


The Single Mom

Have you ever been in love?  Horrible isn’t it?  It makes you so vulnerable.  It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up.  You  build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life… You give them a piece of you.  They didn’t ask for it.  They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn’t your own anymore.  Love takes hostages.  It gets inside you.  It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like “maybe we should be just friends” turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart.  It hurts.  Not just in the imagination.  Not just in the mind.  It’s a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain.  I hate love.   ` Neil Gaiman


DavidRayDog said...

It's true, love is hard and it can hurt you. I'll still always choose to dive in though.

Alison said...

Even the best of us fall victim to it.

I can tell everyone until I'm blue in the face that I'm "happy being single" and that I "have a wall" and "push people away" all of which may be true on some level or another, but it's my own fear of being vulnerable and ultimately getting hurt by someone I (cough, cough) love (cough, cough) and them having that power over me that ultimately sabotages any relationship that may be forming.

Hi, I'm Alison, and I'm a chicken shit about love. We have a club, and there are jackets.

singlemom said...

Hi, Alison. Welcome to the club (hands you shiny silk jacket embroidered with Alison and crazy cat lady welcome basket). Thanks for your comment. I do really appreciate knowing it's universal.

I have walls built up, skeptical and choose men who might not be necessarily available (ie long distance etc) and then fall hard, next thing I know I'm doing shots at 2 am, phone in hand, thinking the restraining order is just his way of playing hard to get. (just kiddin)

I don't necessarily want to join the "I do, white dress and OMG who hired this effin caterer" club but isnt there a club for us in the middle? Let's figure out how to get in that one, are you with me? More ice cream first?



Alison said...

My mom once made me vanilla ice cream with creme de menthe on top. If you do it that way, I'm in. Crazy cat lady basket and all!

I don't want to get married, I just want to sleep with someone consistent. LOL

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