Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Wow, this relationship is getting really serious…. FBO? (Facebook Official?) Well, nooooooo but almost…

In the 1950’s the scene was cliché, the boy pins his pin on his girl’s cardigan to make their relationship official.   When I was in school, the boy gave his class ring and I couldn’t wait to get to school on Monday to show off that we were officially going together.   Today, the same high school couple announces their exclusivity by going FBO.    Instantly, the couple has announced their couple status to all of their Facebook friends.   There’s no waiting till Monday morning to show off a class ring covered in yarn.   Within minutes, they can know how their friends, family and acquaintances feel about this new couple.
Instant access, information dispersal… thanks to The Cloud… information, news and minutia is spread in seconds.   We live in a world where people tweet about their bathroom habits, what they had for lunch and their most personal news.    A few years ago I convinced my parents in the Southwest to get on Facebook pages.  It took some work but they finally conceded.  This past winter I found out that my Grandma had died from a message they sent me on Facebook.  (dislike)
I overheard my son and his friends talking about one of their new relationships and it struck me so funny now how much technology has changed.   Back in the day I dated if a boy liked girl he had to dial her home number, gulp and hope like hell her parents didn’t answer. 
The “courtship” cycle was like this:  
passing notes  - talking on phone – going on date – “going together”

Today it could be any of the 7 following communication methods to get to the date step:
texting – emailing – instant messaging – talking on phone – Skyping – Facebooking – Tweeting – going on a date – “FBO”

The initiator (either a boy or girl) today doesn’t have to call a home phone (who even has them anymore anyway?).      It’s so much easier to ask someone on a date now.  A text, a deep breath, the send button and all that’s left is the waiting…. (text purgatory) for the answer.   
 I’m an early adapter, I’ve been texting for about 8 years, only 2 people I knew would text back.    When I got my Facebook page, only one of my classmates of a class of 375 had a page.    I had maybe 6 friends that whole first 6 months on Facebook.    Although I’ve used technology to supplement communication for a long time, I’m not necessarily a big fan of it as a whole.  I recently read a stat that 1 in 5 divorces today cites Facebook as a part of the reason for the split.    
I’ve had more than one really bad fights because of something misunderstood over text.   One that comes to mind was celebrating New Year’s Eve while my current boyfriend was traveling.   He asked how we were celebrating and I texted him that I was celebrating with my married friends, kids and we were drinking margaritas.  It was our usual joke to talk about Jose and Jack (Cuervo and Daniels) as people we socialized with.  I mentioned that Jose was taking good care of me.  When my texts were ignored for 3 days after,  he finally let his anger out that  how mean I was cheating on him with some Jose dude and rubbing it in my face.  Are ya kiddin me? 
I’ve done a lot of online dating, obviously.   I honestly think that the sheer numbers of people on a dating site now has people somewhat fooled that there are so many choices out there and I think people give up too easily on relationships thinking their choices are wide open.  While that may be true, daters these days are talking to a number of people at a time and may be interested in you, but they might just be talking to you until their number one choice contacts them.   #sadtruth
Recently a long distance relationship I’ve been exploring hit a new threshold.   He asked me if I wanted to Skype.  I was being flippant when I asked if he thought he was ready for that step.   It really did feel like another step forward even though I was making light of it.  Oh and how did I meet this person?   He read my blog.  Seriously, what a sucker, he walked right into my trap...


The Single Mom  


DavidRayDog said...

And what a delightfully effective little trap it is! ;D

bigpoppadaddy2011 said...

I just recently found your blog, I'm a married dad and I wanted to let you know how much I love reading it - its like sneaking a peek into woman's brain. Thanks so much for writing it! You sound like an awesome woman who any many would be lucky to snag. Keep on goin!

singlemom said...

Thanks bigpoppadaddy2011... I appreciate that a lot! I hope you keep reading, enjoy and get a little peek into a womans brain - scary... Smooches, SM