A long distance romance found on Twitter, grown over the months... we haven't met yet, but will we after our first argument??? We finally talk after several days of misunderstanding. It's 2:00 am, we haven't spoken in days and I've been crying so much it made me get sick - and the phone rings...
I took a deep breath, answered his call and braced myself for an ear full. We hadn’t talked in several days which was unusual for us. We had a spat that started a few days earlier, our first spat actually. Our only conflict was probably something like, noooo I love you more, noooo I love YOU more. Go ahead, roll your eyes, but it’s true.
My point of reference is coming at it from doing a lot of online dating. In my experience it’s better to meet somewhat soon to make sure the physical chemistry is there in person. You can talk and flirt and coo all you want before you meet, but meeting in person is essential to really gauge the future of the relationship.
I feel like we are in a holding pattern until we can be together, there are too many unknowns and that uncertainty bothers me deeply. I don’t like to drag out things, if it’s gonna hurt, I’d rather pull the bandaid off all at once and get it over with. I don’t want to wait a long time, have the anticipation grow and then one of us not be sure that we’ve chosen well. To me, waiting a long time will only make it hurt worse if the chemistry isn't there when we meet in person.
When we finally talked on the phone I told him I’d open myself up to it as a possibility. We started talking regularly, got some of the “dealbreaker” conversations out of the way and soon after I decided to dive in all the way. We both were in the deep water, in love, no lifejackets no orange floaties, we were in the deep end, completely.
We were both careful about each other’s feelings and tried to hear the other one out even though we were on opposite sides. I’m not sure if he had heard me cry before, maybe the first time we talked but I doubt it since. I know I’d never heard his voice sound so irritated, so sharp. I didn’t know if we had any chance of reconciliation.
His voice started to soften as he explained, he knew he still loved me and wanted to be with me, he just wanted to back up a little. He knew we needed to find a way to meet in the middle and he was willing to talk about what that could be. The thunder and lightning were adding drama to this difficult talk.
It was a very difficult conversation and we were starting to understand each other and feel a little more understood. We knew we needed to postpone the "heavy lifting" for another time, it was extremely late and we both had to get up early the next morning.
He sent me our traditional goodnight text, followed by “Dream a little dream”. He hadn't sent it since our little fight. I sent back a loving text, snuggled under my covers, and felt safe and more secure about us
The Single Mom
Let me know what you think... should I be worried? Is this a bad sign or just a healthy step? Feel free to comment or to send me a personal message. Thank you and big Smooches!