Friday, August 19, 2011

A Romance with a Reader - He Sees My Face for the First Time (chapter 6)

An anonymous blogger and a chance meeting with a man on Twitter.  He began reading her blog and fell in love with her sight unseen.   After a couple of months of friendship, she turned to him when she was upset and they shared a phone call that would change their lives.  They have been talking a lot and getting close.  In fact the last time they told each other those three  words "I love you."  Yet, he'd never seen her face - until now... 

The next morning my stomach was still in knots from our conversation the night before.  My emotions were really elated but I physically felt nervous, it didn’t really add up.  This morning began like any other, with a text from him… except today was a little different… my morning text from him had an I love you attached to it.   It made me smile and feel happy, happier than I’d felt in a long time.   
After this long road of looking for love the past 6 years online dating, getting frustrated and then starting a blog about the process, ironically someone fell in love with me because of my words.  My self-depreciating humor, smarts, optimism and my sexual mojo were things he said that drew me to him.   (Maybe not in that order ;)
The irony isn’t lost on me that the ONE place that I felt free to spew my insecurities, my dorkiness and sometimes my anger was the exact place we met.   He loved me despite my insecurities, my dorkiness and my anger.   He knew me warts and all.   Another frightening truth that occurred to me after sleeping on it… he said he loved me last night and has never seen a picture of my face.   I’ve seen a few of him, he’s one of my blogs Facebook friends, but he’s never seen me.
This seemed even more odd, he never asked for a picture.  He never made it an issue at all.
I can’t imagine how someone could do that.   I’m not a superficial person, but it’s hard for me to comprehend falling in love with someone sight unseen.   It makes me feel like his motives are even more pure when I consider that his feelings aren’t based on an attraction.
You read about how I felt like two distinct personalities, Good Sandy and Bad Sandy from Grease.  I also lamented that it felt like I’d never find anyone who would love both sides of me.  Men only liked the Bad Sandy side of me and I in essence gave up looking for the exception.  I turned off my dating profile, put the “crazy cat lady starter set” in my online shopping cart, except I didn’t quite hit “confirm” yet. 
Some little ray of sunshine was peeking through all the clouds.  Maybe hearing the trite bullshit quote of “When you give up and aren’t looking for love it finds you.”  Well bullshit, what ever.  I told myself if one more person said that to me over the past 6 years that I was gonna punch someone right in the junk.
So here’s what you do if you’re looking for love, write a blog.  Be a dork, whine about how unlucky you are at love and you just have to beat them down with a stick.  It’s as easy as that.  You’re welcome.  Lol
The next night we had another phone conversation and I brought the subject up about seeing a picture of me.  In his gentle way, he said “That would be great if you are ready to, baby.  I know how you are careful about your anonymity.”  His voice even was breaking up a little with nervousness, again searching for the right words.  
It was extremely sweet and as I went down the hall to get my computer to send him a picture.  As I walked, I asked him how he could be so blasé about this because I just didn't get it.  He said again, “it doesn’t really matter what you look like.  I know I love you, what you look like is just a bonus.”
I found a couple of pictures that showed my face and were both pretty different, in one I had straight hair, the other one my hair was curly.   After I sent them to him, it was my turn to sit on the other end of a long pregnant pause and a deep breath before he spoke.  My heart was racing in my chest and I felt nervous.   His words came out slowly, deliberately.  Oh, my God…you… are… beautiful… just… beautiful…  Baby you are so beautiful. 
He nervously added something to the effect of I hope you’re not disappointed with me.   I reassured him that that wasn’t possible and I knew I was attracted to him.   After I spoke, he repeated again.  You are just so beautiful.  I’m sorry I just can’t get over it. 

The Single Mom

Next time: our first Skype date


Jenniffer said...

Aww!!! YAY! FINALLY! lol This is soooo sweet!! I hope you two have the same chemistry in person, cause you are going to meet him now!! :)

DavidRayDog said...

Moving, so very moving.

*misty tingly smiles*