Monday, August 8, 2011

A Romance with a Reader: Important and Difficult Conversations (part 4)

We’ve had our first phone call after exchanging hundreds of messages online.    I had an upsetting emergency in the middle of the night, sent him a message online and he offered me to call him if I needed to talk to someone.   Usually, I wouldn’t have considered it but I really did need to talk.    Our first conversation was so enjoyable and he admitted that his feelings for me weren’t just those of friendship.   He asked me to at least open myself up, get to know him and if things were mutual we would talk about the harder questions. 

I had to admit that since we’ve been talking that I was starting to change my perspective.  He really did care about me, he proved it over and over again by sending me messages every single morning and evening.  He also had proven it by being so caring all along the process of us getting to know each other.  
I had to trust that he wanted to get to know me for the right reasons because all this time we’ve talked we didn’t get past just normal flirting,  Not to sound overly cynical, but in a typical situation a guy would have already sent me an R rated picture.    It was encouraging that he didn’t, unless it wasn’t something that wouldn’t measure up.   Should I worry?  Kidding.
We talked about anything and everything, laughing and having serious talks too.  We’ve lived very different lifestyles but somehow we connect on so many levels.   I’m a suburban mom  from the Midwest, rockin the soccer mom thing and he’s an east coast, big city bachelor.    He’s probably never even driven a mini-van, especially a red one.    Yet, for some reason he was drawn to me in my little tractor beam that I cleverly disguise as my blog.   LOL 
The first few times we talked, this was something I asked him about a lot, I felt practical skepticism about the whys of his feelings and were they enough to surmount the hows of us being together.  It was a tricky conversation to tiptoe around because there was no reason to talk about the future until we were sure we had feelings.
The next huge hurdle we had to talk about was meeting and I was afraid to bring it up directly.   We both talked around it, saying things like it would be great to kiss you and wake up next to you, but I couldn’t bring it up as a conversation subject. 
He admitted he had started looking at his options for transportation to get to see me.   It’s his gentle nature, to back up and say, “If that’s ok… I’m not wanting to intrude or pressure you, it’s just something I’m thinking about.”   His sweet gentle nature endears him to me more and more because he has such a warmth about him and a sincerity I couldn’t help but to allow my feelings for him to take root.    I’ve never met anyone who was so thoughtful and unselfish.   Plus the guy paid his dues a heck of a lot to win me over, so there was that. 
We also had to talk about my kids and any hesitations that created for him.   This isn’t something I can downplay or sugarcoat, they are a huge part of my life and take a lot of my focus.    This conversation went extremely well and I felt more assured after we had it. 
I’m under a lot of life stress right now.   I’m trying to find a job, keep writing the blog and I have a lot of other projects in the works.      Recently, it was extremely hot in our house.  Our air conditioner hasn’t been keeping up with how extremely hot it’s been and to say, I’ve been more stressed than normal.  I became cranky one evening on the phone with “The Reader”.  He tried to cheer me up and I wasn’t really able to be myself.  
I felt worn down and normally I would have asked the question I did with some more tact and fluff but I was too frustrated to put on a happy face tonight.   Basically, I asked him if the possibility of him someday moving to my city didn’t exist, even as an option for the future that I didn’t want to have just some long distance flirting relationship.
He responded extremely well and I apologized if it sounded like I was trying to back him into a corner.   His reaction surprised me and was a huge turning point in our relationship.

Until next time...


The Single Mom

Should I meet him??? Vote on the homepage upper right corner... 

Tell me what his nickname should be!  I've heard "Nicky 'Nonymous"  "Ricky Reader"  or Mr. Twitter (bc we met on Twitter)... Do you have a better one???


Anonymous said...

How about "No1 Fan"?

He's obviously invested a lot of time, effort and l.... care into contacting you and trying to be around for you, and trying to break down your barriers without a tank and a bulldozer is a task many would shy away from.

Luckily he realises you're worth it.

- wubanger

singlemom said...

Wubanger, you always make me smile, how do you do it? Thank you for your sweet words, friendship and for your continued prayers for this poo foo. smh, poor lil fella.

Hugs to you and lots of smooches! SMD/Sandy

Anonymous said...

Pete Tweet?
LD Bachelor?
Big City Boy?
Far Away Fan?

My sinuses are affecting my mental abilities.

singlemom said...

I love those!!! Thanks, too funny!!

Jenniffer said...

Hmm.. I kinda liked the "Nicky 'Nonymous" lol