Wednesday, August 31, 2011

A Romance with a Reader - Your Feedback and What's Happening (ch 9)

Your comments were right on about my romance with “The Reader”.    I felt pretty warm and fuzzy after I published the post last Friday about how things felt after that fateful late night phone call.    Many readers brought me right back down to truth… blech.     
Fortunately, many of you gave me a huge dose of reality and I’m grateful for that.    It was like getting a cold glass of water in my face, and made me open my eyes.
The funniest conversation happened on my Facebook page, it’s worth it to go to my page just to read the chatter from two sisters talking about my love life, and well theirs too.  (Here’s the link if you want to read it - Read the conversation from last Friday night:   At first, I laughed and then sat numb in my chair for a few minutes as I accepted the truth of what they were saying.   They cautioned me that the fact that he wanted to back up was a very bad sign and I shouldn’t ignore it.
They are right and I heard it from a few other people too.   Truth be told I was probably having a momentary lapse of objectivity.   I’ve seen too many chick flicks where everything falls into place in a third act twist.   Well, I guess I wouldn’t be writing a blog about my crappy dating life if happy endings were a given.
Here’s where writing a blog and being totally open about my feelings with YOU bites ME in my ass… he can read my thoughts and feelings too, dammit.  There’s no poker face when I’m so real about what I feel at any given moment.   I suck at the game and it’s really hard for me to play it cool if I’m invested, anyway… but still holding some things back would be helpful.  However, I put it all out there.  Kinda sucks to be me a little, huh? 
Several days have passed, where are we now? 
He lives on the east coast and we did communicate a lot through this past weekend’s hurricane.   We kept in touch and I was truly concerned for him.   It reminded me of a cliché movie scene and a preemptive, tearful goodbye just in case or something.   Our feelings for each other were really close to the surface and I think the heightened emotion of the situation might have impacted that.
We have texted a lot but haven’t talked very much at all.  It isn’t really intentional; we’ve been pulled in different directions.    This upcoming weekend is Labor Day.  Originally, this was the weekend we talked about meeting for the first time.   I’d be lying if I said it didn’t bother me because it does.   It’s just not going to happen and at this point there aren’t any real plans to either.   We aren’t “Facebook official” or even Facebook friends right now (not because of any specific reason).  We love each other but we are both technically free.   Maybe someday we will meet and maybe we won’t I guess it’s anyone’s guess right now.
I’ve also been getting a lot of texts from an ex I’ve written about, someone I saw this year.  He’s been texting me for over a month, wanting to see me.  I brushed him off in the beginning, I felt like I belonged to “The Reader”.     Now, this isn’t really the case, so I’ve been texting him back, yet keeping him at a distance.  He wanted to meet me for a drink on Saturday night and either before or after a party I went to.    He texted me again on Sunday between school supply shopping trips.   I’m sure he will keep trying to find a time we can get together. 
Right now, the future is wide open.   “The Reader” and I are best friends and have deeper feelings too.  However, the reality is that the no meeting is set.  Anything could happen now and I’m keeping an open mind, maybe more so every single day. 
Truth is; I’m a free agent and going to just let this unfold as it will.   I’ve been contacted by several other readers also interested in meeting me.    So far, I haven’t decided one way or another to open up that door again.    It’s not like me to be going with the flow, I like to control everything.   Yet, not sure if you’ve noticed but that hasn’t worked out too good for me.    

As much as I’d like to kick Captain Obvious out of my life forever and have all my dreams come true, it just isn’t practical now is it?  Duh, I hear you, I do.
So, for today… I’d say the odds of me meeting “The Reader” and me being the Crazy Cat Lady are about a dead heat.  Maybe I should take bets on that, huh? 


The Crazy Cat Lady aka The Single Mom 


Anonymous said...

Oh, no!!! I must have missed a post. I'm so sorry for the pull back.

But your readers are right, if he's pulling back, there's a good reason for it.

Not being pollyanna about this, but taking a step back doesn't mean you won't move forward again.

Signed, cautiously optimistic...

Anonymous said...

Single mom, you are right! We all have to ground ourselves when we feel like we are flying! I'm glad you're ok and I love the post!

Anonymous said...

That FB convo was HILARIOUS.

I dunno. My instincts are that you're wasting time and energy on him. I think the fact your feelings are SO heightened has more to do with the fact you want to feel something strongly again and you want someone to feel strongly about you than they do with The Reader himself. That being said, ex's aren't a great idea either.

I dunno, it kind of reads like you're forcing the dating thing... and I don't meant that in a mean way by the way. Sometimes I write things and I'm like "Wow that came off bitchy and I so didn't mean that." That's one of those times.

Wow I'm rambling.

Maybe you need a dating sabbatical. Maybe you need to put time and love into you. The best opportunities in life come when you stop seeking them out. I know this is a Dating Diary but maybe you need something new for a while?

I think you're a great personality. You deserve better.

Jenniffer said...

aw.. I never thought our unintentional conversation in the open would have any impact.. lol After I sat back & read it, I mentally said, '' We had a good laugh too!
On the other hand, it was never our intention to scare you:( Then again, some truths are scary. And they often come from unlikely places :s

My sister & I really hoped that things would get better between you and 'The Reader' :/ But, like we mentioned, don't put all your eggs in one basket.. especially one you haven't used yet. Have fun, flirt, enjoy yourself, but be cautious.. I don't like how he's backed off so much.. after soooo much effort..
When the Hunter backs off from the prey.. theres a reason. Watch him. It tends to be larger prey..

We love you Single Momma!! Heres to hoping things work out & amazing blogs!!! **HUGS** :)

Anonymous said...

I've been reading this and am going to be honest, but I don't intend to be cruel.

This "relationship" isn't real and will not go anywhere beyond these texts or skypes.

He's pulling back because he's realizing this is not real and the connection with you filled some need he had at the time, but it's not day to day life. You're only seeing the best of each other.

Enjoy the good feeling, but don't push other men or people away out of "loyalty" or "fidelity" to him. You can cheat on something that doesn't really exist.

DavidRayDog said...

Hey Single Mom, just stopped by to say Woooof! & let you know I've been thinking about you.

*jumps in your lap & lays some wet nuzzles your cheeks*