Saturday, September 17, 2011

A Glass or Two of Wine and a Kiss or Two with an Old Flame

Everything about him was the same, except he seemed a little sad at first.    It had been several months since I’d seen Southerngent and I wasn’t sure exactly why I finally agreed to see him.  
It was a spontaneous decision after he literally has been pursuing me for about 6 weeks.    His first contact was very benign and friendly after I told him I wasn’t available at the moment.  He scaled back his texting to just simple hellos, just keeping in touch.  Recently, when things started to unravel in my relationship, I began entertaining Southerngent’s texting with a little more interest. 
Important caveat right here, I’m not keen on second chances and I was careful to tell him so.   However, we agreed to talk as friends and I thought I should make myself go out.   I’ve been wrapped up in a long distance relationship and not sure it was a good thing.   I was careful to explain to Southerngent that although he had strong feelings for me in the past, I wasn’t necessarily able to get back to that place now or maybe ever.  If he was willing to meet me after I said that, I’d consider meeting him sometime.
I didn’t really consider that same day as the “sometime” I pictured but when he offered to meet me at The Wine Bar, it sounded like a great idea.   I told myself I should just go or else I’d talk myself out of it.
It felt good to get dressed for a date again and to primp just a little.    I wore my hair up, long shiny earrings, a simple black off the shoulder sweater, jeans and heels.  I purposefully didn’t want to look like I’d fussed a lot, and I truly didn’t.   A quick spray of vanilla perfume and I was out the door driving to meet him.
As I drove to the wine bar, I tried to convince myself this was a good idea and I needed to do it.   I pulled into a parking space next to him and we exchanged casual waves acknowledging seeing each other.   
He walked quickly over to meet me and hugged me tight, not wanting to let go.    As he pulled back, he handed me a little teddy bear with a tag that said, “I’m Sorry”.    It was a sweet gesture and I told him it wasn’t necessary. 
We went into the wine bar and sat in the same little loveseat as the first time we met.    I loved the cozy, library environment of this place and felt so comfortable instantly.   A familiar waiter came, took our orders and had our Cabernets there quickly.
Between sips of wine, we talked.  He started by apologizing for being distant after he lost his job.    We talked about our kids and our summers, my writing, his new job and it was enjoyable to get caught up.   I had to consciously make myself uncross my arms and relax after the first several minutes.   I knew him and trusted him, but I wasn’t going to open up completely to him, however I didn’t need to protect myself.     The wine tasted great and I started relaxing more into the loveseat.
We were both starting to laugh as we talked.   It was exactly what we needed to do to break the ice and I’m sure the Cabernet helped us immensely.   Actually, we were laughing very hard as we tried to figure out what the people around us were talking about and why they were there.
A break in the conversation, and he said, I’d forgotten how much I loved hearing you laugh and how beautiful you are.  I nervously played with my earring as I tried to gracefully accept his compliment.
As I turned to pick up my wine glass, there was a fresh glass before me.   I looked at him suspiciously and he casually shrugged.    The wine and the soft jazz both helped make me feel relaxed and the evening passed quickly.   It was getting dark outside before I even looked at the time on my cell phone.    I also noticed I had an unread text message but chose to ignore it.
The night went so fast, it was almost 10:00 and I really need to get back home to the boys.   He motioned for our check and we talked about how good it was to catch back up.    I agreed as we headed out to our cars, as he casually placed his hand in the small of my back.  
Ironically, we were in just about the same spot as the first time we kissed.  It was much darker tonight and I was less open to his physical advances as I was on our first date.   I still hadn’t decided to take him out of the friend zone and wasn’t sure I could, a lot of time has passed and I wasn’t sure I could let feelings like that happen again, Cabernet or not.
He said how foolish he was to let me go in the first place, how he regretted it and how he’d do everything he could to show me he would be the man I needed him to be.   My arms crossed over my chest communicated how I was feeling, but I said it was good seeing him and this was a good first step, but I didn’t want to make him think I could be anything but a friend to him again.
He asked if he could give me a little hug and a kiss and I nodded.  He pulled me tightly to him as he kissed me gently.  Having his lips on mine again felt really wonderful and I suddenly felt warm from the inside out as we continued kissing.   I got so lost kissing him it was almost hard to hold my balance in the heels I was wearing.    
We said our goodbyes and I drove home listening to jazz, continuing the cozy feeling I had.   When I got home, I looked down at my phone to see new texts, one from “The Reader” and one from Southerngent that just said “WOW”.  I laughed as I slid the phone into my pocket, opening the door to a quiet home and my youngest son, greeting me with “Hi mom, did you have fun” from upstairs.
I felt pretty satisfied with myself for venturing out as I kicked off my shoes,  put my keys down and walked upstairs to talk to him.

The Single Mom


Jenniffer said...

YEAY!!!! I KNEW he would make a comeback!!! lol I like him. Despite his pulling back before, he honestly didn't seem to have any ill intentions and seems to genuinely care for you :) But yes- take this at the friendship level. Slowly. relearn each other. Take your time and enjoy yourself ;)

DavidRayDog said...

Yesss, wine is good! ;D
Sounds like a very nice evening ~ sending you karma for many more good times.