Thursday, October 13, 2011

My Last Blog Post

In the past seven years of being single after my divorce, I’ve been through a lot and been on a lot of dates.  I’ve done it all, been cheated on, beaten up, stolen from, dumped for every imaginable reason.   I was too short (no shorter than when we first started dating of course), too young, too old, whatever.  
Yet, I recently hit a new level of lame… my last relationship ended essentially because he watches a lot of tv and reads a lot of comic books.  A LOT of comic books.  It was a long distance relationship that he initiated, was going to move here then the new fall season happened and well of course comic books…  How could this curvy, pretty blonde compete with good stuff like that?   
Our conversations dwindled off to only once a week and that just wasn’t enough for me.    I have a life to live and taking a backseat to tv and comic books isn’t in my plans and shouldn’t be.  Entertainment should fill the gaps in our lives, not replace our lives.
After THIS, it would totally be explainable if I finally lost it and went all crazy cat lady, bat shit crazy and ate ice cream, watching Murder She Wrote every day and night.  This would be the epic ending of The Single Mom’s Dating Diary, someone would find me days later, surrounded by kitties licking out empty ice cream pints,  empty wine bottles and a remote in my hand.    People would understand totally.  They’d shake their heads and say it was such a waste, but it would totally be understandable.
Truth be told, I took it hard, writing became difficult and even being on Twitter made me sad sometimes.  (that’s where we met afterall)  I lost my best friend and my heart hurt.   I lost my voice and struggled to get it back.   My life came into a sharper focus and I had to reevalute e v e r y t h I n g.
So many readers came out of the woodwork to tell me how much I inspired them, so many heart wrenching emails, tweets, personal messages. I put down the can of frosting, the spoon (because I’m civilized like that) and wondered if I really had touched so many people. (not the inappropriate touching I’m usually acquitted for…)  Your comments picked me up, so much and made me want to keep doing this, but I still didn’t have the words.  
Inspiration came in the most surprising form: my 14 year old son. 
He’s never read my blog (Thank GOD!). He knows about the blog but he mostly rolls his eyes about it.   His dream has been to be a sports journalist, he’s a true sports addict, can quote chapter and verse of sports stats that would blow any adult away.   Since watching me, he’s seen the dream I’ve had come alive and he’s started a blog to get his own writing chops.   He’s going for his dream because he’s seen me go for mine.  Wow.  I may never hit the big time with my writing, but he just might all because he had this dream implant surgery. 
After really thinking about it I ran out of the cat shelter, threw the ice cream out the window and said, “Oh screw it!”   Wait, I’m lying… you readers are too smart… I didn’t say that…  I said “Oh FUCK it!!!”   
I'm not giving up, oh HELL no!
Your comments pulled me back up.  It’s not about me writing some bestseller book or whatever…. It’s about having a DREAM and not giving up on it.  I’m sarcastic and I probably go too far sometimes,  but I’m not a quitter.   You told me I’ve inspired you and if I quit so can you.  So can my son.   OH HELL NO!   If I go down, I’m goin down swingin'!
I’m a writer, DAMMIT!  Writers write to entertain but also to inspire us to get off our fat asses and DO something.  What’s the point of watching a movie like Dead Poets Society if you go back to your sucky cubicle life and don’t carpe the fuckin diem?     I’d so much rather someone said they read one of my posts and it inspired them than a person who read every single one and it never kicked their ass in some way.  Screw that! 
So call me a liar if you want, but this is NOT my last blog post.  
Call me out for lying, but in the next breath, make sure you call me a writer too.  I have a lot of work to do to get better, but dammit I’m not quitting over something so effing stupid.   We can't quit on our dreams, ever.   What's the point of having a dream if we let it go when we hit a speedbump?  This is like a muscle cramp in the 25th mile of a marathon.  It's game time, peeps!   The game is life, suit up and get your ass off the bench!
The Single Mom

Notes: ~ My ex is a great guy and I miss his friendship every day.   I don't mean to poke fun at him or his choices, they are just differnt than mine.  ~ I'm going hard at my book after all this.  It's so exciting! ~ I have a second date this weekend, with "Twitterguy" (will be changing his nickname soon)


bigman19973 said...

This a great piece and you are to be commended for not only setting a good example for your son but also in realizing your intrinsic value and how you touch others. The world is a better place since this is not your last blog post.

singlemom said...

Wow, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts! You literally brought me to tears and I cannot thank you enough for sharing with me. I hope I get to know you better, you seem like a thoughtful and wise person. Smooches, SM

Alanb said...

Okay you got me! I thought you were going to need a life time supply of kitty litter! Welcome back and know that we all (well most of us) love you!

BBrowne said...

Your humor and grace have brought me many laugh out loud and thought provoking moments since I've discovered your blog. I suspect you have so much more to share with the world even beyond your writing. Keep making things happen!

DavidRayDog said...

Go Single Mom go!

RockStar1970 said...

Never give up, never quit, never give in.

You and I both know the pitfalls of trying to find someone special. I had no intention of having some Twitter romance, but one fell right into my lap. You will find the right person, it just takes time, patience, and acceptance.

Keep writing, we'll keep reading... the rest will take care of itself.


singlemom said...

@Alan, thanks for your constant support and friendship... glad you were a lil sceeered there :D Who doesn't like me? What u talkin bout willis? Hugs SMD

singlemom said...

@BB Thanks for sharing your comment... it makes me happy knowing I made you laugh and go hmmm too... (not that kind of hmmmmmmm lol). I look forward to getting to know you better and having you drink more of the evhil SMD sauce or marinating your body parts in it... :D Smooches SMD

singlemom said...

@DRG You Fucking Rock. Thank you so much for always putting smiles and tingles on just the right places... Love ya lots n lots!!! SMD

singlemom said...

@Rockstar, ya thanks *eye roll* no you know I'm being sarcastic... I'll eventually get there just not feelin it right now. I'm so happy for you and Pandora, keeping my fingers and toes crossed for y'all... sending smooches!!! :* SMD

arlene+2 said...

got scared there for a second!! i love reading your blog!! keep it going till it becomes Crazy Married Mom- if thats what you want :). best of luck on your date :) <3