Thursday, February 9, 2012

In a Man's Own Words - What Do they REALLY Mean?

This is a guest post from a reader and friend in England, "Wubanger", @wubanger5 on Twitter.  We met on the site, traded a lot of tweets and have become very good friends for a year now.  He wrote a piece after one of our chats about how I (and women in general) overthink what a man means when he says something, anything really.   I know you'll enjoy the post and a peek into a man's real thoughts. ~ Smooches, The Single Mom

First off, this is my very first blog post, and therefore my very first guest post, so thank you kindly to my friend across the pond, The Single Mom for giving me this opportunity.  If you haven’t joined Twitter, it would be worth it to check out!/singlemomdate/.  Go on, this post will still be here when you come back.  It’s worth it, and you won’t regret it.

It all started when The Single Mom (now known as SMD for the sake of my fingers) and I were having a conversation on messenger.  She mentioned she was just a normal person, and I shouldn’t expect too much.  I’m paraphrasing quite heavily here, but you get the gist.
The point is that my reaction to point out that men have been having to take that one comment and sew it with all the meaning it needs to get through a) a conversations b) a day, and c) a relationship.

The truth is, most men – the normal ones I mean, not the freaks that seem to stay in your memories long after the men themselves have moved on – they’re amazingly simple to work out.  When a man says something like “I want to go out with my mates tonight”, what it in fact means, is “I want to go out with my mates tonight”.

Notice that there’s some subtext going on.  We have made a decision.  We want to go out.  We want to be with our mates tonight.  If you pay attention, you’ll also realise that there are some things that you also should be able to infer from what we haven’t said.  For instance, it doesn’t mean that we need to rethink this relationship, or you’re crowding us, or even that the weird argument we had last week about the way we come in and leave the kitchen door open is still in our minds.

We really are a simple breed.  We try to say what’s on our minds, and it doesn’t take long. I think the only time when we do have something we’re keeping quiet about is when you ask the Big One.  The one that strikes fear into our hearts and that we have to keep secret.  You know what I’m talking about.

Its “what are you thinking about?  There, I said it, I went there.  Its out.   So when we invariably answer “nothing”, we actually mean something along the lines of “The manager should have made the substitution!” or “that last round of tour of Duty was too hard, next time, I’ll come in from the other side”, or even “Has Mike sorted out that thing with his woman always wanting to talk to him so we can go out tonight?”  There’s a pattern to this, and we know that your interest in these subjects is slightly lower than wanting to get a biological analyses done of pond scum, so we don’t bring it up.  Its simple!

So the next time you want to know what we mean by something, and we tell you, just imagine that you’re talking to a group of people who really do say exactly what they think.  “I’m tired” does not mean “I can’t believe you wouldn’t let me go out with my mates tonight, so I’m going to sulk”.  We’re capable of communicating that just fine.

This is just one man’s perspective, so don’t read too much into it.  Feel free to leave a comment underneath if you’re wondering what that means.



Next post... another date with my new man, things are heating up and we are getting closer...


Frank Ly said...

Ha, HAHahahahah. Love it.

~Frank et al

@gooted said...

Yes! 100% Fact. Nice work!

Homeschool Maverick said...

Be careful when you ask what they are thinking! I asked him to stop holding back. I asked him to tell me what he was thinking because I wanted to hear how much I meant to him. Instead,I heard about how other girls turn him on. That was on his mind.