Sunday, May 13, 2012

What the heck happened to The Single Mom???

First, I have to say that I have had so many sweet comments from readers, whether here, Twitter or Facebook, readers checking in on me, asking what the heck happened to me and sharing their love.  It means more than I have words to express, so all I CAN say is thank you.  I’m deeply humbled that you care.

Secondly, is that looking back on my posts I feel like a different person now … my sassy has been replaced with stressy and my swag has been replaced by feeling like a hag.  Ok, maybe a little exaggeration, but you get the idea.  I see glimpses of myself sometimes but right now my game face is on.

Of course, the most obvious question is “why” and I’ll try to answer that as best as I can.   In a nutshell, my ex has over the past several months become a deadbeat dad, putting more stress on me and to be blunt, creating financial havoc for my boys and me.   The Single Mom a year ago had a carefree bravado, sparkly lipgloss and high heels to match, today I feel like a heart attack waiting to happen and I’m just trying to survive.   
I’ve been busy with all the legal stuff and trying to find extra ways to make money in my free time, what free time?   To be short, my life is a hot mess and I go from crying that he has done this to our boys one moment to being a total bitch and wanting to cut his manhood off with a rusty pocket knife the next.

My concern for finances is one part but I also am raising two future (potential) dads and I don’t want them to see this as an example of fatherhood.  If anything, maybe they see me as a workaholic and their dad is a 49 going on 12, but I’d be all over their little, hairy, white asses if they were doing this as grown men.  

The purpose of me starting this blog was entertainment, information and hope for single parents everywhere.  I wanted to share my hope with you and to try to encourage people to start over and be optimistic about it.   I’ve been through a lot of heartbreak and I wanted to be a positive voice.   

Unfortunately, I’m not there right now myself.  I’m scared, angry and dating is the last thing on my mind right now.   Well, sorta… there is a guy I’m interested in and I think he is also, but I’m trying to hang back a little.  I’ve also met a friend who is going through a divorce now and I know he wants more but we are both in the wrong place to start something.   It’s funny how when you say you aren’t dating that it’s almost more of a challenge or something… hmmm…   But, I’m all business right now and sadly dating isn’t really much more than a passing thought. 

Anyway, I just wanted to let you know why I’ve disappeared and to let you know what’s been going on.   I also wish all the moms out there, especially my sister single moms a Happy Mother’s Day.   I hope things look up for me soon.    We have a court date soon and I hope my ex gets a new one ripped by the judge and that he gets a job, crazy idea... I know.  

It's really made me rethink how unfair it is for deadbeat parents can get away with this bad behavior.  It's been one thing that my ex didn't participate in being a dad, but not paying support was just a new level of douchebaggery.  It makes me want to do something positive to bring awareness and support for single parents everywhere.  As usual, I don't think small...

I appreciate all the well wishes and support.  A few of you have really been great friends and have been holding me up, especially Sean.  I appreciate all the thoughtfulness and I'm so grateful for all of your friendship.   Thank you so much and I hope I'm back to sassy and my usual naughtyness soon.


The Single Mom