Sunday, May 13, 2012

What the heck happened to The Single Mom???




First, I have to say that I have had so many sweet comments from readers, whether here, Twitter or Facebook, readers checking in on me, asking what the heck happened to me and sharing their love.  It means more than I have words to express, so all I CAN say is thank you.  I’m deeply humbled that you care.

Secondly, is that looking back on my posts I feel like a different person now … my sassy has been replaced with stressy and my swag has been replaced by feeling like a hag.  Ok, maybe a little exaggeration, but you get the idea.  I see glimpses of myself sometimes but right now my game face is on.

Of course, the most obvious question is “why” and I’ll try to answer that as best as I can.   In a nutshell, my ex has over the past several months become a deadbeat dad, putting more stress on me and to be blunt, creating financial havoc for my boys and me.   The Single Mom a year ago had a carefree bravado, sparkly lipgloss and high heels to match, today I feel like a heart attack waiting to happen and I’m just trying to survive.   
  
I’ve been busy with all the legal stuff and trying to find extra ways to make money in my free time, what free time?   To be short, my life is a hot mess and I go from crying that he has done this to our boys one moment to being a total bitch and wanting to cut his manhood off with a rusty pocket knife the next.

My concern for finances is one part but I also am raising two future (potential) dads and I don’t want them to see this as an example of fatherhood.  If anything, maybe they see me as a workaholic and their dad is a 49 going on 12, but I’d be all over their little, hairy, white asses if they were doing this as grown men.  

The purpose of me starting this blog was entertainment, information and hope for single parents everywhere.  I wanted to share my hope with you and to try to encourage people to start over and be optimistic about it.   I’ve been through a lot of heartbreak and I wanted to be a positive voice.   

Unfortunately, I’m not there right now myself.  I’m scared, angry and dating is the last thing on my mind right now.   Well, sorta… there is a guy I’m interested in and I think he is also, but I’m trying to hang back a little.  I’ve also met a friend who is going through a divorce now and I know he wants more but we are both in the wrong place to start something.   It’s funny how when you say you aren’t dating that it’s almost more of a challenge or something… hmmm…   But, I’m all business right now and sadly dating isn’t really much more than a passing thought. 

Anyway, I just wanted to let you know why I’ve disappeared and to let you know what’s been going on.   I also wish all the moms out there, especially my sister single moms a Happy Mother’s Day.   I hope things look up for me soon.    We have a court date soon and I hope my ex gets a new one ripped by the judge and that he gets a job, crazy idea... I know.  

It's really made me rethink how unfair it is for deadbeat parents can get away with this bad behavior.  It's been one thing that my ex didn't participate in being a dad, but not paying support was just a new level of douchebaggery.  It makes me want to do something positive to bring awareness and support for single parents everywhere.  As usual, I don't think small...

I appreciate all the well wishes and support.  A few of you have really been great friends and have been holding me up, especially Sean.  I appreciate all the thoughtfulness and I'm so grateful for all of your friendship.   Thank you so much and I hope I'm back to sassy and my usual naughtyness soon.

Smooches,

The Single Mom

10 comments:

teresa ann said...

Happy mothers day. Strong women raise strong men! As to your ex..karma is a bitch. I'm sorry he isn't at the very least upholding his financial obligation, but i know that you will you come through this too. When shitty happens, single mothers find a way of strapping on their high heels and turning shit into fertilizer for rose gardens

Jenniffer said...

Wow.. no wonder you said what you did lol
We are literally in the SAME boat fellow single momma! I hope things stare looking up for you soon, I know how hard it is :/
I'm cheering for you!! :)

Anonymous said...

What a fantastic post! I'm glad to hear you're still alive and kicking (back) - don't give up hope, lady! Glad your boys have a strong woman to show them how to be strong men, and I know that the only thing that they'll need to inherit from their dad is how to pick up a drop-dead, gorgeous, sassy, smart, putting-the-swish-in-the-sashay type of woman. Just like you. - wubanger

DavidRayDog said...

Hang in there dear, we love you tons and will always be in your corner. Sending you big hugs and puppy dog licks.

Anonymous said...

Single mom of three here, who just found your blog. I'm also contending with a dead beat dad (well educated guy who ended up in jail for 6 months for not paying over $200K in child support and has refused to see kids since he's gotten out). So I feel your pain. And taking a look at "Man Candy" brought to mind :the guy I was just dating who's decided to pass me up for a new "whirlwind romance" he entered with someone else after we started sleeping together. He's begging for us to be friends (really?) Sigh.

This little light of mine is definitely about to go out. A great weekend with the kids is the only thing propping up my spirits. It's hard to stay positive, until you realize how important t it is to your kids that you're happy.

On that note Happy Belated Mother's Day.

Stephanie said...

Just came across your blog. I am a newly single mother to a 5 1/2 month old daughter and I am looking for single parent blogs like my own :)

http://sistersouls.typepad.com/my-blog/

relationshipdatingblog said...

I wish you find your true love.And I know you are a strong person just be yourself.

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single parent statistics overview said...

Hey, happy mother's day to you too, i know i am bit late in wishing you. Hope you will soon out of the court affairs. I also want to say that if you are interested in someone and you think he will become a nice dad than go ahead in understanding him.

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