Sunday, November 18, 2012
Thanks for your kind words and patience during my silence. It feels great to be missed. Suffice it to say that I’m struggling to take care of everything, the boys, working on short term projects, looking for long term work and trying to juggle the parenting demands. However, I have been on several dates over the past month, and this is one of them, about 2 weeks ago. This date is my reunion with “Latin Lover”, the man I was smitten with last summer…
It didn’t seem real, even as I looked at his text saying “I can’t wait to see you tonight”, I could see more reasons that something would happen to cancel tonight’s date than I could see it really happening. Or, I could see it happen but me embarrassing myself, like trying to make a sexy entrance and falling -- creating a Chevy Chase entrance instead, like I have done before, seriously.
You have to first understand that men like “Latin Lover” don’t happen to women like me. He’s incredibly good looking, charming and sexy. I’m confident about myself, but there is still a huge part of me who is the awkward girl in middle school who relied on her sense of humor to make friends and to eventually catch the eye of Jr. High boys.
As a little girl, my mom read The Ugly Duckling over and over to me. Looking back now, I wonder if she hoped someday beauty would find me and I’d have a triumphant ending like the duckling. I’m in my forties now and I feel confident and sexy but I know my limitations and I see my flaws (like all of us). Yet I’m at an age where I don’t give a rat’s rear what other people think about me, good or bad. Over the past year, I’ve worked hard to lose weight and have even started running again. My confidence has started to swell but unfortunately my “assets” have been shrinking.
If anything, now the timing was fantastic for a reunion with Latin Lover, I feel great and I’m in a good place emotionally. When the chance came to go to his city for a meeting, my hand was the first one in the air. I gladly volunteered to drive the almost 2 hours to “Latinloverland” and attend a meeting for our team. I took a huge breath, typed a text to him asking him if he was free Thursday night that I’d be in town and hit “send”.
I didn’t really expect an answer from him right away, since I had to cancel plans with him just a few months ago, twice. I was physically sick from the disappointment of not getting to see him, but there were things going on in my boys’ life that I had to deal with.
I put the phone down, and didn’t look at it for about a half an hour to get some things done and was prepared for whatever answer came… or didn’t come. My message light was blinking red and I held my breath as I opened his text. I had to read it twice to make sure it was true and let out a happy squeal when he said he’d love to see me.
The next couple of days I had daydreams about seeing him again, wondering what it would be like and trying to not be nervous, trying is about all I could shoot for. It had been a year and a few months since we’d seen each other. When we met our connection was instant and I’ve never felt anything even close to it. I was instantly attracted to him, genuinely liked him and we were very physical for a first date. I NEVER let my guard down like that and probably made a bit of an ass of myself telling him so.
We saw each other a few times last summer and each time was perfect, from start to finish. Unfortunately, this incredible attraction wasn’t enough to compete with both of our busy parenting schedules, work schedules and trying to squeeze moments of life in the remaining cracks. I didn’t take it well and said some cranky things to him when we said goodbye. Eventually, we started texting again and I was thrilled just to be able to have any contact with him.
We kept in touch, barely and it was fun reminiscing about our past sexy moments, easily the sexiest moments of my life. Fantasies of him were never far from my mind and I could remember just about every detail of our time together, what he wore, what I wore, everything.
I was feeling stressed, could think of 10 things I needed to check off my “to do” list more than extend this day and see him, but I told myself that if he could still see me that I deserved this time, these few hours with him. I resolved to be in a great mood and make sure to make sure I was great company for him.
I dressed for the meeting but also did pre-date preparations and even enjoyed the extra “beauty chores”. I enjoyed shaving my legs envisioning him touching them, and I took extra care moisturizing every inch of my skin. I wore a suit but added some feminine details and even wore thigh highs and a lacy garter belt as a surprise.
Today as I began the drive to see him, I felt giddy when I saw the sign showing the distance to his city. I was excited to finally be heading to see him and yet it almost still didn’t seem real. As I drove to see him, I grew more excited as the numbers marking the miles counted down and yet the cynical voice in my head kept waiting for the other shoe to drop and for him to have to cancel.
I found my way to my meeting place at the busy shopping center, ironically the same one that he and I met at last summer. I had to force myself to stop letting my fantasies carry me totally away from the humdrum meeting. Unfortunately, it was boring and it made the time drag even longer. After it was over I still had an hour to kill and dashed into a couple of stores to try to pass this time, but I couldn’t shake the nervous anticipation.
I jumped when my text chime went off. My pulse began to race as I took a deep breath and read his words. He asked me where I was and I was so relieved to know he wasn’t cancelling tonight. He told me to go the French restaurant and he’d be there in a few. I texted back oui oui and circled around happily wasting time looking for it.
I found a place to park took a few more moments to primp and made my way to the restaurant. I ran into the restaurant to adjust my thigh highs trying to feel normal wearing them, but really felt dorky. He texted me to please order his drink, and I was happy to sit and order, claiming the last two chairs at the crowded bar.
It was relaxing to have a change of scenery to be away from my hometown and to see completely unfamiliar faces, it almost felt like being on vacation. I tried to convince myself that tonight was really happening but it still seemed so hard to believe. Latin Lover and our nights together have become a recurring fantasy reel in my mind and I wondered if time exaggerated our connection if maybe the chemistry was just a summer fling.
My mind slipped back to our first date and what I thought about as I waited for him. I wasn’t nervous that first night, not completely knowing what to expect and yet tonight I was more nervous because I DID know what to expect. He is gorgeous, charming and someone who I felt instantly comfortable being around, yet he’s so good looking that he can rattle even me. I remembered the moment he walked in on our first date, greeted me so warmly with a quick kiss on the mouth. I was smitten with him from that first second and something about him wouldn’t let me go, even after all this time.
My mind also raced to our kissing sessions and how the passion carried us away. The bartender interrupted my impure memories and I know I had a dirty smirk on my face as I tried to order the cocktails. Our drinks quickly came and I drank mine in an attempt to calm my nerves.
A few minutes later, he came in like a fireball and hugged me, tightly. I enjoyed his embrace, closed my eyes and breathed his cologne in deeply, which made the memories of him appear even more vivid in my mind. I tightened my arms around him as he planted kisses on my neck.
It finally was real to me, HE was really here, now in the chair next to me and we were both grinning from ear to ear, the joy on our faces had to be obvious to anyone. I tried to hide the fact that my hands were shaking, but I’m not sure I completely pulled it off. We instantly started catching up and didn’t stop, having so much to tell each other and we covered just about everything from the daily grind, our kids and even sex.
He asked me a lot about my writing and was disappointed to hear that I was having to backburner it to deal with the demands of life. He encouraged me to continue doing it and to keep pursuing that dream. It meant so much to hear him say this but I explained that it’s just not possible right now, sadly.
As we were talking, the eye contact was intense and we were constantly touching. There were a few times that he just paused and said “I can’t believe you’re really here, I just can’t believe it.” Kissing was a pleasant break between conversations and it felt so great to have his mouth on mine again.
We were able to go from breezy topics to deep ones, with ease. We shared a lot and the time we had been apart was irrelevant, we didn’t miss a beat in the intimacy we had.
He was just as gorgeous as I remembered although he did seem tired and stressed. However, he was sweet and attentive to me. He made sure I had what I needed and was comfortable and took random breaks to kiss my neck, hand, wrist or touch my leg. Although we were in the bar of a crowded restaurant, we were oblivious to anyone around us, except the occasional interruption from the bartender. The happiness on our faces was probably more than obvious and with the kissing, probably borderline obnoxious to those around us.
Sitting next to him, I felt happier than I have in a very long time, I thoroughly enjoyed staring into his eyes and savoring his beauty as we talked.
He said he’d like to see me more, even talked about us taking a getaway trip. It was a thrilling thought but I didn’t want to think about it too much and get my hopes up. The time flew by and the kissing started to overtake the conversation. His hand moved up my smooth leg and he took a momentary break from kissing me to flash me a naughty smirk when he discovered the lacy garter on my thigh.
His hand moved recklessly up the side of my skirt and it made me feel like the entire bar could see my ass. I gasped and chided him for a second but laughed it off quickly. Gesturing the bartender for the check was his obvious next move. We quickly paid and walked the path quickly to the front door.
I noticed how beautiful the scenery outside the restaurant was now that it was dark. There was a lake, lit beautifully and the sound of the running waters from the fountain completed the scene for our passionate kissing. Everything about kissing him felt so right and I was so estatic to be with him again. The night was chilly and we started walking towards my car, hand in hand.
I knew we didn’t have much time because I had to be home and I knew his son was expecting him too. This time with him was perfect so far and I couldn’t have written a better night with him, except if we could have been together all night long.
We stole a few semi private sexy moments in the parking lot outside my car. He kissed the few bits of bare skin he could get away with and I enjoyed receiving his affections. His passion and the way he kisses is a totally different feeling than I’ve ever felt because it’s obvious he thoroughly adores a woman. When I’m with him, I feel adored, worshiped almost in his presence.
The night’s chill forced us into my car and it wasn’t long before the windows were covered in steam. Any doubt I had earlier today that our passion was fleeting, was long gone now. We reluctantly said our goodbyes and talked about seeing each other again. It took about 3 times for us to be able to finally say goodbye and it was difficult to watch him finally walk to his car when the night was over.
The night was perfect and I didn’t want to think about the future too much. I enjoyed the long car ride home replaying this night, feeling peaceful and so happy to have seen him again, hopeful for the future but just enjoying the moment for what it was.
Thank you for reading!
The Single Mom
Posted by singlemom at 7:09 PM