Thursday, February 14, 2013

Happy Valentine's Day... Feelin' the Love!


Hello, friends I’ve missed you so much!  I enjoy hearing from all of you and the friendships I’ve found from sharing this part of my life with you.   I hope love or at least some extremely hot lust has found you and life is treating you well! 

I’ve been busy with the mom thing and work.  There has been so much going on with having a very sick boy and trying to juggle all of the normal responsibilities I have.   Without going into too much detail, my youngest son has needed a lot of attention and my focus has been shoring up our lives.   What little time I’ve had I have been working out and trying to get my head together, when that didn’t work I just drank myself stupid… hey whatever works, right?

Things ended sadly with “Latin Lover” as he and his ex-wife reconciled to raise their child together.   It hurt me tremendously and sucked the air out of my life temporarily.  If you follow me on Twitter, I had a painful tweeting meltdown right on my Twitter stream that would make me bawl if I read today, but I’m putting him behind me.  I’ve deleted his number after all this time and finally closed that chapter of my life, and blog… haha… sob.... 

Fortunately, just recently I’ve been able to start to have a little bit of “me time” and even have a couple of good dates.   I’m really trying to pace myself and make good decisions because my life is really complicated right now, so it’s just been fun to be just be "out there" and flirting again.  I’m going to enjoy the moment and not overthink it for now, I promise. 

I’ve heard from so many ex-boyfriends in the past week, it’s crazy.   It is an annual Valentine’s Day tradition much like the Swallows returning to San Juan Capistrano, so I’m more immune to it than I’d normally be.  Some I’ve ignored and others I’ve at least texted, blech!

One of my past long distance loves reached out to me and I can’t bring myself to talk to him, despite his angry and sexy texts reminiscing about our past.  It’s sad but I just can’t open myself up to him once more.  My heart finally gets calloused to certain people and while that’s a good thing, I never know if I’m being too protective.  Someday, when I’m the crazy cat lady, I’ll wonder why I was such a crusty bitch in 2013, but for today I’m not ready to let the same person hurt me multiple times.

So, while my Valentine’s Day “love” story doesn’t include a meaty dude and me walking off into the sunset, it does include two boys who call me mom and my love for myself.  Those are more important loves for my long term happiness and don’t you even try to talk me out of my delusions, dammit!
Thank you so much for reading!
The Single Mom