Tuesday, March 19, 2013

For Love or Money? The Rules of Dating are Changing

I don’t know about you, but you’re much more likely to find me riding my shiny rainbow unicorn headed off to whoop it up on Cupcake Island than you are to find me balancing a checkbook or worse still, in some stupid financial planning class (yawn).  The thought of that practically dulls my glittery eye shadow.  I like living in my own world and the people here really love me too. 

“Reality” and “finances” and other words of that type are not allowed in my day to day vocabulary.  I’m much more concerned with, “Is the lipgloss shiny enough?” “Are the heels high enough?” and I buy jeans based on which one makes my booty look better, am I worried about the price? Nah, notsomuch. 

So, imagine the pure shock and horror I felt when I first heard that “Credit Score Dating” is a thing.  Yes, there are new dating sites devoted to match potential dates up by high credit scores.  If you didn’t just throw up in your mouth a little, you need to process that concept.  I’ll wait… 

Gulp… what did you say??? Credit... Score….. Dating?  I about dropped my credit cards there for a second…   I understand “Credit Score” and “Dating”, well of course I know about dating! Boom, chicka, wa wa… Do I know about dating?   Yes I do thank you very much! *Cheesy wink and air gun*

However, putting these two ideas together makes just about as much sense to me as me putting a stick figure family on the back window of my sassy, sexy, sports car.   

I’m middle aged, divorced and just now beginning to embrace the flaws of said middle aged body along with the emotional shit sandwich that life serves all of us from time to time.   It’s tough enough for me at forty *cough, cough* to put myself “out there” and wonder “Is he going to like me?”  “Is my rack big enough?” “Do my Spanx lines show through my clothes?” …you know the normal checklist we all go through in our head before we meet someone new.    Now, I have to add one more item to the list to be self-conscious about?  You’re kidding me… right?  

When I first heard about this, I nearly marched myself straight to the cat adoption shelter and cleaned them out, along with taking Ben & Jerry home for a future of ice cream and kitties.   Credit score dating was sure to be the end to my legendary career of dating, a fantasy highlight video played in my mind of the great dates, crying ex-boyfriends giving teary speeches and finally culminating with the ceremony where I retired my high heels and lipgloss, waving goodbye to onlookers. 

Then I realized that I had a friend who could help me.  He’s a guy who works in the financial world and yammers on all the time about balancing your checkbook and only buying things you can afford and making a household budget, and a lot of useless, boring knowledge that I never paid much attention to.  

It then also dawned on me that if I didn’t make some serious changes in my finances, that I’d no longer be able to party it up on Cupcake Island and I wouldn’t have a unicorn, shiny or otherwise to get me there, shitsticks!   Screw you, “Reality” – you Sir, suck! 

I quickly hopped off my unicorn and gave my friend Britt a call.  He sent me a lot of information and even a video about how divorce can affect your credit score and some common myths about relationships and credit.  He teaches a financial planning class and also gave me some great information and makes it easy, and almost fun.  Almost.   He made a difficult subject easier and I’m going to share his suggestions with you about credit and divorce.  You can also email him directly at
bscearce@gmail.com for more information or help. 

Credit considerations when facing a Divorce
Divorce is an emotional separation that can greatly impact your financial situation. Many people are financially fit until faced with the economic consequences of marital separation. There are some steps you can take to minimize money problems during what is already a stressful time.

1.  Beware of using money or charge cards as a marital weapon - if accounts are jointly held, you may end up paying the killer bill.

2.  Stop charging unless you have the personal income to pay it off in a timely fashion. Do not use credit cards to supplement missing income.

3.   Save for moving expenses and legal fees. They may be hefty and you should save and not charge or take new loans - unless, you have a secure job and can pay them back as promised.

4.  Pay utilities on time - especially if they are in your name. If you have to move and resume service, you may be asked to pay security deposits if you have not been a good paying customer in the past. The same goes for rent and mortgage payments. Many landlords request credit bureau reports, and if the payment history is poor, they may refuse to rent to you.

 5.  Do not take out any new joint loans with your spouse. If your spouse doesn't pay, you will have to pay the entire loan.

 6.   Write the credit card companies and send a certified letter requesting a new credit card in your name only. According to the Equal Credit Opportunity Act, they must grant you a credit card equal to the current card's credit limit.

7.   Protect your divorce judgment. If the divorce papers stipulate your spouse is responsible for the debts, unless you take legal action to remove your name from the original contract, the creditor may still pursue you in court.

8.  Base all new bills and living arrangements on what you can reasonably afford on your own. Don't depend on child support or alimony when making future income considerations.

9.  Read and understand any financial documents BEFORE you sign. Make sure your attorney or financial advisor explains all the consequences of a decision, including any penalties for early withdrawals and income tax complications.

Here is a great video about Marriage/Divorce & Credit:


So, before you go invest in an expensive new pushup bra with all the “special effects”, and sexy Lebotins, go balance your checkbook first and, then go knock ‘em dead on your next date!

Thanks for reading and go have some great dates!

Has your credit score come up in conversation on a date?  How do you feel about "Credit Score Dating"?   Please connect with me in the comments below, I'd love to hear what you think!


The Single Mom

So, what has The Single Mom been up to?  My world has been hectic with the boys, work and a lot of self improvement.  I've been working hard and things are looking up for me!   I've also been out on several excellent dates with a couple of men I really like, but just taking it as it comes.  They are both freshly out on "the market" again from new divorces, so I'm being more cautious than normal but having a lot of fun getting to know them.  Big smooches! 


Marie King said...

I'm right there with you! I'm a divorcee as well and I can totally relate with this post! Who would have thought it would be so complicated? Glad to hear that you're out dating and getting back in the saddle. A few of my girlfriends who are divorced haven't put themselves back out there and they've only found themselves depressed. I read a book recently, and actually gave my copy to a friend who is going through a divorce of her own, called "The Club Rules" by Johnny Mac. Check out his website too http://theclubrules.com/. It's definitely a book worth checking out for anyone who's on the market again! It has some great tips for going out and really enjoying yourself. Thanks for the great post, keep trucking forward!

Kaylee Ameli said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
kevin kerrigan said...

Keep on truckin you are tough and learned well from your parents I would guess thanks for the info my blog if you like to check

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